Why kiss a beard? It feels like pushing your face against a Brillo Pad
I think beards to men are what spray tans are to women.
They can hide a multitude, distract from what is underneath and they are always more attractive to the person who is wearing them.
I haven't kissed a beard in a long time. (I can't think of a joke there but am sure there is one!).
But before my gay days, I do remember that feeling of pushing my face against a Brillo Padded head.
It was rough, unpleasant and left that unattractive rash around the mouth.
So the phenomenon of beards leaves me with mixed feelings. I feel sorry for the ladies and gentlemen of the land who have to rub cheeks with the burly males. But some must like it - otherwise why would they put up with it?
Then I always wonder what makes a man reach a decision to grow one.
I know why Graham Norton grew one. He is in love - with a man with a beard. There is an age old tradition that gay men with beards go out with men with beards. Then they become bears (that's a beard without the 'd').
I'm only kidding, but its true that people in relationships mirror each other.
Who hasn't seen middle-aged couples wearing the same coloured and style of rain jacket as they go for their Sunday walk?
I myself have been known to become drawn to the style of a partner. I once got into wearing a certain type of mountain walking sandal 'cos she wore them.
I know - one of my many regrets in life!
Well Graham is in love and he now has a beard, which actually suits him.
The beauty of a beard is that when someone shaves it off, everyone cries "You look 10 years younger".
Happy days all round for Mr Norton.