I don't know what to think about Kylie Minogue's new underwear campaign for Sloggi. Actually I do. It is irritating beyond belief.
She's draping a lot in the photos - draping her body on the floor, draping her arms over a chair. It's one big drape-fest. Oh, and there are cardigans being draped over her semi-clad body. It's a half-nude Kylie with draping gone mad.
I look at the photos with a little envy, sprinkled with a smidgen of disbelief. Are they airbrushed? Could I ever fit into those garments? Is she happy? Do they really think this campaign will make me, three years younger than Kylie, even consider buying the underwear?
I sort of feel the same way about Kylie's campaign that I feel about the images of her this weekend at the British Summer Time Festival.
She's sticking her bum out and slapping it. She's wearing a tight red mini dress and high boots that go up to her thighs. She is trying very, very hard to be sex on legs. But she's not.
Am I supposed to admire her? Am I supposed to respect her more because this 47-year-old singer seemingly has the body of a teenager?
We all know sex sells. And Kylie is from the school of Madonna, wherein she wants to prolong that young sexy look for as long as possible. But it doesn't work. It's not sexy. It's pathetic.
I am in no way saying that Kylie cannot wear whatever she wants. But I feel no admiration or respect for seeing her backside while she sings.
We all want to look and feel attractive, but there is a different sensiblility about style for teenagers, for 20-somethings, for 30-somethings, for every decade up to octogenarians and above.
Sexiness is not always about tits and ass. Maybe for the young Rhiannas and Taylor Swifts it is. But as my mother would say - there's no fool like an old fool. And Kylie is slipping over the line into playing a fool's game.