There's a female sex pill? Give me a loaded dishwasher any day
You can't be up to Big Pharma. The latest wheeze they've come up with is a daily pill to make women more interested in sex.
It's being described as 'the female viagra", but it has nothing to do with getting anything up or down.
It's more like an anti-depressant, working away on bits of the brain which tell a woman if she's happy or sad, relaxed or depressed.
When all the time what's wrong with married women is they're exhausted. And the reason they're exhausted is because no-one else does a bloody thing around the house.
You know as well as I what would happen if you came into the kitchen to find himself had scrubbed the kitchen 'til it shone. You'd throw your arms around him, sobbing with gratitude.
He could sling you over his shoulder and haul you off to bed if he wanted. You'd grab a rose out of the vase and carry it between your teeth for good measure.
But does it ever happen? It doesn't. After 50 years of feminism, western women still do nearly all the housework - even if they're working outside the home.
And they're still responsible for everything.
So said Susan Maushart, who wrote a book on this subject called Wifework. She argued that women's hard drives are full of home matters and that doesn't leave much room for a sex drive.
She found herself congratulating a man for saying "yes" to her kid's party invitation. He was the second man who had ever responded to an invitation sent out by any of her three children - and the other one's wife had just had a stroke.
She says that men who do the housework have sexier marriages.
Sharing chores is the third-most important ingredient in a good marriage in some surveys, before money and housing.
Women would gladly live in the garden shed if only their husbands would sweep it. And women would have a lot more sex on top of the rusty lawn-mower if men did this, and not to have to pop a female viagra pill, which reportedly increases women's desire by just 0.3pc.
I hope to hear the sound of a thousand toilets flushing it seawards when it comes on the market.
And a hundred thousand voices shouting, "the best sex aid a man can use is a mop and bucket!"
- Victoria White