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Friday 17 August 2018

Savage i: Long delay in Anglo probe is a scandal in itself

The Director of Corporate Enforcement has given an update on his investigation into the 'Golden Circle' of Anglo shareholders who allegedly took loans to buy shares, thereby shoring up the bank's share price.

Paul Appleby has said that the 10 key witnesses in the Anglo Golden Circle could be described as "reluctant witnesses".

His comments could be described as "bleeding obvious".

The witnesses could be described as "old" given the length of time this shagging investigation is taking.

Since we were told there was naughty stuff going on in Anglo, the world has gone into and out of recession, Osama Bin Laden's been killed, the Government has changed, 400,000 people have lost their jobs and we've been bailed out by the IMF and the EU. But no-one has been jailed for any of what happened in that bank. In fact, no-one (to the best of my knowledge) has been charged.

For the first few of the investigation months, we waited patiently, aware that these things take time. When the first year came and went, we figured the ODCE was just being very careful.

When the second year ended, we began to get a little hacked off.

Then this week, Sean Quinn's family sued Anglo and by proxy the State.

That's right, the family of the man at the heart of this whole scandal, the family of the man the golden circle were allegedly bailing out, have sued the bank their husband and father lost a king's ransom on.

They say that Anglo lent them quite a lot of money (a billion or two) for illegal purposes.

And still no-one is in jail.

Clearly this is a careful and subtle strategy by the authorities; he's planning on everyone involved dying of old age before the case comes to court.

Keep his mitts off the top job

GIVEN that times are tough, it is easy to forget how easy we have it. There's a chance it'll get much, much worse. Specifically, Mitt Romney could become President of the USA.

Mitt has just declared his intention to seek the Republican nomination for President. For the good of mankind, he cannot be allowed to succeed. He must be prevented because of one simple thing he said a number of years ago.

It is deeply wrong to judge someone based on one sentence. It's crazy to call someone dangerous and unhinged based on one statement.

Unless that statement is "my favourite novel is Battlefield Earth". In that case, the person should instantly be carted off to Guantanamo and waterboarded until he starts to love To Kill A Mockingbird.

If you're unfamiliar with Battlefield Earth, it is the seminal work of the chap who invented Dianetics and Scientology -- L Ron Hubbard.

The book makes some passing reference to the kind of kooky thinking that underpins Scientology, but that's not the problem with it.

The problem is that it is awful. Awful beyond words.

Anyone who believes it to be the finest novel in history should be precluded -- for the sake of humanity -- from ever becoming president of the US.

Respect due to American way

THIS week has brought final proof that we are wusses compared to the yanks.

Someone is charged with white-collar crime in the US and they get cuffed and perp-walked, here we grumble.

Someone does a terrorist attack in the US and a Navy SEAL shoots them in the eye, here we just get used to it.

And now they're really showing us up; tons of people gave out about Charlie Bird Gets a Nosebleed And A Bit Of A Blister (or whatever that Antarctic thing was told) but nobody did anything, we just sat by and whined.

In the States, a man called Freddy Caldwell got fed up of his local TV station showing repeats of Two And A Half Men, so he rang them twice and threatened to blow them up.

Now violence is never acceptable, but if a bit of Semtex could get Off The Rails stopped, maybe we should make an exception ...

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