herald

Saturday 18 August 2018

Savage i: Greens flirting with FG just makes me squirm

EAMON Ryan has said the Greens would be willing to go to bed with Fine Gael.

This is a bit like me announcing I'd be willing to go to bed with Angelina Jolie -- she won't pay any attention, the scenario is unlikely to arise, and even if it did, she's unlikely to say 'yes,' but me and Eamon can both live in hope.

The nice thing about the announcement was it came from everyone's favourite Green, who has been a bit anonymous lately. Which is a shame.

Unfortunately, he followed up his offer of political coitus with FG by saying that if elected he'd abolish the TV licence fee. This is odd.

Ryan was the Minister for Communications. He was the dude who could have signed the order to abolish the licence fee at any time over the past four years.

But he didn't. But he will now. Honest.

If you know any Greens, could you please tell them the following;

1) Stop promising to do stuff you could have done while in Government.

2) Stick to the knitting; bicycles, carbon, global warming and eco-tech. There's a little tree-hugger in all of us, tap into that.

3) Stop flirting with FG in public, it'll give them a swelled head, and it's uncomfortable to watch.

4) If you insist on doing it, don't then let John Gormley accuse Fine Gael of plagiarism, as he did yesterday. That kind of thing can wreck a good flirt.

q EAMON Dunphy, Fintan O'Toole, David McWilliams and a few other celebrity types got frightened at the whole running-for-election thing.

Which is understandable; it takes time to get policies together and get posters printed (I'm reaching here, but let's give them the benefit of the doubt). What's more difficult to explain is the Christian Solidarity Party's lethargy in getting organised.

If you log on to their site it is 'under construction'. The policies outlined are an edited package from our 1997 policy document'.

Fourteen years lads? The entire Second World War could have been fought twice in the time it took ye to consider what you stand for.

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