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Friday 17 August 2018

Michael O'Doherty: Yes, I'm having another pop at IFTA's Simon

If you want evidence of how bad the economy is, you only have to look at who's presenting the IFTAs this year.

Because if Ryan Tubridy is House of Fraser, and Victoria Smurfit is Brown Thomas, then Simon Delaney is well, Tesco.

And to everyone's bemusement, it is Simon -- best known for being the face of that supermarket's ad campaign -- who's got the gig.

As if he wasn't ubiquitous enough, Simon has the IFTAs and a play he's directing to plug, so you can barely open a newspaper without seeing his chubby little face. Yesterday, we were greeted to fascinating insights about his finances, as well as the house where he grew up.

Before that, he was puffing up his role alongside Sean Penn in This Must Be The Place, which sounds impressive till you discover that he's not quite 'alongside' Sean in the credits; in fact, 'bank employee' and 'airport businessman' appear before him.

As well as that, he's been wittering on about his plans to conquer Hollywood -- flying out soon to meet "top agents" and is going to "grab this amazing opportunity," etc, etc.

So if you're absolutely sick of the sight of Delaney -- and let's be honest, who isn't? -- I suggest you go to your local cinema. After all, the big screen is the one place you're sure not to see him.

Me, Fade Street and Copper Jacks

FROM the endless art created by some of Ireland's greats, Oscar Wilde left us with "we are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars," while WB Yeats will be for ever associated with "a terrible beauty is born".

I found out my contribution on a visit to Copper Face Jacks, as revellers came up to congratulate me on my outburst in that week's episode of Fade Street.

And so, in the noble tradition of our great literary forefathers, MOD's legacy to Ireland will forever be the concise, epigrammatic nugget that is "tattooed f***wits".

James Joyce, eat your heart out...

Sinead, please think before you Tweet...

Having posted her darkest thoughts on Twitter, due to the stress of bringing up her children, Sinead O'Connor has since backtracked and said that she was simply using it as an escape valve.

With a new husband, two ex-husbands, and three other men with whom she has had children, you'd have thought Sinead wasn't short of people to share her innermost thoughts with, instead of using her twitter account as a cut-price psychiatrist's couch.

"It was like emotional diarrhoea," she explained. I couldn't have said it better myself, Sinead.

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