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Michael O'Doherty: Hands up, I'm very jealous of Sinead's arse

WHILE I will hold my hands up and admit that I poked fun at Sinead O'Connor's recent marriage, especially the bizarre photograph that was released of herself and her betrothed exchanging vows beside an old sofa and hat stand, there was certainly no venom in my commentary of her unusual nuptials.

But apparently some journalists did upset Sinead in their verdict of her behaviour, so much so that the diminutive warbler felt compelled to respond, and castigate numerous unnamed female journalists for their "abuse" and "bullying".

RAGED

In a newspaper article yesterday, she raged against what she claimed was jealousy on the part of her detractors, borne of four particular factors:

1. They don't understand her.

2. They never will.

3. She is "fantastically talented".

4. She has a "fantastic arse". Her 'arse', by the way, and I continue to quote Sinead directly, "has been responsible for the conception of my four lovely children, by four lovely men".

In these words, Sinead proves herself to be the gloriously eccentric source that just keeps on giving.

So may I further hold my hands up and say that yes, I am indeed jealous of her arse.

Because not only has she defied common gynaecological wisdom by conceiving through it, she has also managed, with great regularity, to talk through it.

That is, truly, one magic arse.

Too easy to pin every cold case on evil Murphy

NEWLY released rapist Larry Murphy is a loathsome creature and is very probably still a danger to the public at large.

But am I alone in being disturbed by another element of this case?

Many newspaper articles point out that he's a suspect in the disappearance of six other women, obviously on information from the Gardai.

In fact, they consider Murphy the prime suspect,because (a) he didn't co-operate when questioned about them, and (b) the disappearances stopped after Murphy was jailed.

Neither of which, of course, is proof of guilt.

So allow me to point out an unpopular truth. Murphy has only ever been charged with one crime.

Talk of his alleged other crimes deflect attention from the fact that the Department of Justice has failed in all these years to bring anyone before a court for the disappearance of these six women.

There, I've said it.