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Michael O'Doherty: A few home truths for you, Simon Delaney, on how Hollywood works

Joining the growing list of Irish hopefuls cluttering up the coffee shops of Hollywood, waiting for that call that will propel them into the big time, is actor Simon Delaney, formerly of Bachelors Walk, but lately best known for appearing in Tesco's TV ads.

He joins that illustrious crew which includes Caroline Morahan, Samantha Mumba, Brian McFatten and Mondo from Fair City, all of whom were hyped up in exactly the same way...

Amazing

They've been taken on to the books of a big talent agency, followed by a list of the big names on that agency's books (Cruise, Pitt, Jolie etc), with the quote that they're going to "grab this opportunity with both hands".

What is it about these actors that they think being on an big agency's books is a sign of success? Joining an employment agency doesn't make you automatically think "well that's the hard work done, now I'll go and buy a snazzy suit".

Anyone can join an acting agency; actually getting a job out of it, now that's the achievement. And did you ever hear of any of these Irish TV stars actually landing a decent acting job in the US? Me neither.