Melanie Morris: Just why do smart, beautiful women like Sandra Bullock pick such losers for husbands?
I've always regarded Sandra Bullock as a bright, witty, beautiful woman. One who's above Hollywood and very much in control of her own destiny.
Then, when I saw pictures of her tattooed, biker husband Jesse James, I suppressed my nasty prejudices and thought 'Okay, not necessarily my type, but beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and maybe he's really kind to her'.
It seems he wasn't. Or, if he was, he hasn't been for the past 11 months while he was carrying on with Michelle 'Bombshell' McGee, aka the tattooed lady.
Now, I'm a true romantic, and want to see the best in every coupling, but it seemed too much to ask where the Bullock-James union was concerned.
Jesse was twice married before he walked up the aisle with Sandy, the last time to a former porn star. Would that not set off alarm bells for starters? Apparently not. And while Sandy was making and promoting movies last year, and accepting awards this year, Jesse was in bed with Michelle, or horizontal trampolining with her in his office, or introducing her to his daughter, or attending tattoo conventions with her.
And now Michelle, classy lady that she is, has told all to the tabloids, and Sandy's decided enough's enough. But not until after she'd dedicated Golden Globes, Screen Actors Guild awards and her recent Oscar to Jesse with tributes like 'I love you so much and you're really hot and I want you so much'. Cringe.
I have to say that Jesse really didn't look like a 'keeper'. But, equally, you'd have thought nice thespy director Sam Mendes and lovely Kate Winslet were a very appropriate match, but that hasn't worked out either. Not since he, apparently, told her that he 'didn't believe in having just the one relationship'. Okay so.
Sandy and Kate ... they're no tulips. And yet for all their smarts, they can't seem to land a decent bloke who'll love them, and support them, and watch their backs. Were they too busy taking acting lessons when God was dishing out tips on what makes for good husband material? They probably were.
Along with Renee Zellweger, who must have either been in a carb coma, feeding up to play Bridget Jones, or demented with the hunger trying to slim back out of the part. Either way, she'd lost her reason if she thought wedding Kenny Chesney after a whirlwind romance was a good idea. The marriage only lasted 128 days for God's sake. The reason they split? Yes, because he couldn't 'commit'.
And as for Jennifer Aniston ... Lady, what was this getting back with John Mayer about last year, AFTER he'd kissed and told the entire US press corps about your relationship?
These women need a good talking to. It's not like they're drug-addled models or publicity hungry reality TV contestants who'll gratefully hook their wagon to any footballer, grungy guitarist or nightclub owner who happens to wave a VIP wristband in their direction.
So why do their husbands let them down? Is it too much to ask for a supportive husband? Are these women deceptively high maintenance?
Apparently Sandy has a thing for grease monkeys and heavy metal heads, so with Jesse, was just dating to type.
But, whatever the reason, I still don't think the appropriate return for a successful woman's love is to do the dirt with such blatant disregard for her feelings that the whole world is left slack jawed at the water cooler.
It seems we women will never learn. We can't resist a bad boy and, even though we might be completely aware of the consequences, we'll travel the well-worn path to a naughty boy's door like a lovesick lemming.
Perhaps, for these successful Alpha female actresses, they don't need financial security, and cannot be bothered with minding due to a payroll full of people to organise and protect them. All the usual female needs are turned on their head. What's left is the thrill of the chase and the chance to tame a panther.
Sounds kinda sexy?
Well, let's just see who Mizz Bullock ends up with next.
Melanie Morris is editor of IMAGE Magazine