It's time for celebs to stop stuffing their meat-free morals down our throats
"Meat Free Monday, it's a fun day, and it's happening all around the world."
Paul McCartney there, reminding us that even the most talented songwriters have their off-days.
Macca is all over the 'Meat Free Monday' initiative, a worldwide pledge that asks people to ditch the burgers and stick to the greens.
According to the official website, "meat production is responsible for 14.5 per cent of global greenhouse gas emissions."
Oh, and we can all help reduce our carbon footprints if we just join hands and say 'no' to ham sandwiches on Mondays (I'm paraphrasing here).
So, ahead of this week's UN climate summit in New York, the world's most famous musical vegetarian went one further in his attempts to raise awareness of the environmental impact of eating meat.
He posted a new song/video online. The tune is called (surprise, surprise) Meat Free Monday, and the video features images of Woody Harrelson, Twiggy, Joanna Lumley, Fearne Cotton and other celebrity pals (and ordinary folk) holding up lyric sheets.
Honestly, I thought it was a joke (the song is dreadful).
Look, you don't eat meat, guys, we get it. But I do, and I shouldn't have to feel bad because of it.
I won't be pressured into signing up to what is, essentially, a trite and hypocritical cause.
Too harsh? Well, let me ask you this - how exactly does Paul get around the world on his global tours?
Because it sure as hell ain't in a yellow submarine, or an aeroplane run on love.
And yet, here he is, preaching to the rest of us about carbon footprints as he goes about a ridiculous, save-the-world-by-avoiding-the-deli-counter mission. It's nobody's business but my own, but I've never given my carnivorous ways a second thought.
In fact, the only reason I'd ever consider giving up meat and dairy entirely is if it became in any way harmful to my health.
But it's not. I eat well, and I don't overdo it on the fast food, either.
Let's get another thing clear - I have no problem with veggies. Each to their own.
But it's when some of them try to force their opinions down my throat ("How can you eat that?" "A cow died so you could have that burger!") that I get annoyed. Especially if we're in a restaurant (yes, it has happened, and yes, that is a steak on my plate - get over it).
If you don't eat meat, that's fine - you made a choice and I would never criticise you for it.
Country singer (and famous veggie) Shania Twain once said that she'd never preach to others about her vegetarianism. That's the way to do it.
On the other end of the scale, however, you have Morrissey. Ah yes, they broke the mould with that chap.
While I have a great deal of respect for Morrissey the musician and songwriter. But Morrissey the person?
Well, he doesn't make things easy for himself.
"I see no difference between eating animals and paedophilia," said the world's most obnoxious animal-lover in an online Q&A with fans earlier this year.
"They are both rape, violence, murder. If I'm introduced to anyone who eats beings, I walk away."
Good Lord. I wonder what Macca would have to say about that one. In fact Morrissey has been known to stop gigs if he so much as gets a whiff of a burger from a nearby meat vendor.
I remember popping on down to Vicar Street a couple of years back to see him in action.
Great gig and all, but what was with the whole bag-searching rigmarole at the front door, eh?
There had been a good-humoured rumour that Morrissey had requested that all fans be searched for meat products at the entrance.
Hearing this I made a point of asking the nice security man if he was looking for a rasher sandwich (no, really). He just laughed.
It's up to Mozzer and Macca to decide what they put in their bodies. But they, and every other famous veggie on the planet, should leave the rest of us meat-eaters alone.