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I predict that Keith and his crystal ball don't have much of a future

mentalist Keith Barry made a series of predictions last week, including one which claimed that the Book of Kells would be stolen.

And it was. Well, not the Book itself, but a replica of it - which was stolen from St Colmcille's Church in Co Meath.

Dun dun dunnnnnnnn!

The clever clogs Barry. How the hell did he manage to predict that? Even if he didn't get it completely right, he kinda, sort of did.

Predictions have been around since Biblical times, of course. Telling the future has been a part of every culture, whether in a religious or commercial capacity.

If I wanted to find out what was going to happen in my life, there's any number of super-human psychics I could call on.

tarot

Tea leaves, tarot cards, big glass balls and tiny plastic fish on the palm of my hand would show me future loves, future successes and no doubt, impending doom.

I could go online, go on the phone and learn when my future husband (until I told them I was gay!) or future wife was going to skip my way.

If you have ever had your fortune told, you will know that it is one big swizz and one that both the customer and provider are happy to go along with.

A good fortune teller is someone who can read the signs. Just think Gypsy Rose Lee meets Sherlock.

Someone who can read body language, can garner information and who can cleverly pick apart your emotions as subtly as Fagan picking your pocket.

I once had my fortune told in Florida. I didn't learn anything, because I gave nothing of myself to the experience.

I wanted to catch the person out, so I made sure I was a non-communicative nodding customer.

Keith Barry has predicted the following - an oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico this side of Christmas, the Government will fall as a result of the water debate and Ireland will have the heaviest snowfall in history before Christmas.

METAL

NASA will also discover foreign metal on Mars and Prince Harry will get a girl pregnant, Barry forecasts.

He also predicted that QPR would beat Man City [wrong] and of course all the malarkey about the Book of Kells.

So far, most of Keith's predictions aren't really working out.

But why would they?

Predicting the future is a form of entertainment, enjoyed by those of us who want to be a little spooked and maybe a little duped.

If you think they are anything more than that, you are in la-la land.


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