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Grainne crush

LIKE every warm-blooded male in Ireland, I've always had a thing for Grainne Seoige.

The sultry look which suggests the Spanish Armada, when they visited the west coast in 1588, might have become well-acquainted with Grainne's ancestors.

The dry, rapier wit, which hints at a youth spent studying in the Anne Doyle School of Caustic Put-Downs.

The cool, ice queen demeanour which probably disguises, well, you know... And don't get me started on that lisp.

So I was gutted to read a report claiming she was seeing Paul Galvin, the red mist GAA star with an overly keen interest in fashion, to the extent he owns 70 pairs of shoes, and is fond of wearing trousers six inches too short for him.

Now we're told the presenter's apparently still on the market and the report doesn't stand up.

Thank goodness. Take it from me Grainne, a bearded Kerryman (what's wrong with Kerrymen? - ed) who takes his fashion tips from Brendan Courtney just isn't in your league.