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'Five Grand McFadden' might think before he tweets again

So Brian McFadden made €5,0000 for doing that TV3 toy show. We know this because his agent sent the invoice to the TV3 newsroom, from where it promptly leaked.

Maybe some in TV3 felt it was a bit mean for Brian to have recently tweeted community radio DJ Jamie Jay Car that he'd be earning the DJ's "yearly salary" for flying in for one night's work, a tweet he signed with "suck it".

What Jamie Jay had done to irk our Brian was suggesting that the singer's career had gone downhill.

According to Shane Filan, Westlife were once paid stg£500,000 to do a private gig for the Sultan of Brunei. Divided by five members, and converted to euro, that sets a benchmark for Brian's daily rate at €126,200.

For that €126,200 the guys would have worn black suits, been chauffeur-driven to a posh private venue, sipped expensive plonk and sung some number one hits to an exclusive crowd.

Now, for €5,000, Brian will dress like an antiquated elf and play with dolls on national TV. Maybe I'm missing something, but doesn't it look like Jamie Jay was right?

It's time to grow up John

What is it about being in a senior position in the FAI that makes you behave like a teenager?

Take Roy's spat in the hotel in Portmarnock; team management told us that they stood behind Roy and that he was in the right.

That wasn't the issue, that's the equivalent of an adolescent scowling, pointing at a classmate and saying "he started it".

Keane is a grown man in a position of responsibility, which should require he walks away at the first sign of trouble and allows the argument take place between hotel security and the member of the public with him someplace else. But his inner teen won't let that happen.

His ongoing adolescence is also central to his approach to press conferences, where he insists on behaving like a 13-year-old being asked about un-delivered homework.

He cannot have failed to notice a connection between his snottiness and subsequent headlines, and at this stage, someone must have pointed out to him that the reason he is goaded is because he is so goadable.

Yet the adolescent within persists.

We could probably live with one truculent teen (particularly one as gifted as Keane) but evidently the trait is endemic in the FAI.

How else do you explain John Delaney (left)? When caught singing rebel songs in a boozer, he launches into a big speech about being non-violent.

What the hell has that got to do with anything? We didn't think he was moonlighting as Chief of Staff of the IRA Army Council.

The issue is not about Delaney's violence of lack of it, it's about a man who is paid several hundred thousand euro a year to steward Irish football fostering a culture where it's ok to act like a student on rag week.

We're not worried about his morality. We're worried about his maturity.

We'd like our milk black

Coca Cola has decided to launch a 'premium brand' of milk. They've done something like this before - bottling water in Europe (Dasani, which failed) and re-invention (New Coke, which also failed.)

And now they're taking a logical step for a soft drink business - becoming gigantic dairy producers.

Fingers crossed the end product is fizzy. And black.