Wednesday 23 January 2019

Eoghan Corry: Shnow in Kerry

"Ever until the Greens took over, we have had shnow in Kerry."

The delivery was the effervescent enthusiasm of Marie Louise O'Donnell on the Pat Kenny Show, the woman with the best laugh in radio, but it was a Kerryman she was quoting. She followed up with another. "The country needs the Green economists like a slug needs lettuce."

It wasn't, as you might suspect, a Healy-Rae. It was the former Ceann Comhairle John O'Donoghue, who in different circumstances would not have to canvass in this election at all.

"Tell me how many bags of cement you sold," he quoted Sean Lemass, "and I will tell you the state of the economy."

"We got three votes down in the graveyard," said Michael Healy-Rae. "Are they getting in or getting out," said Marie Louise. "No, they're staying shtanding until Friday," said Michael.

The one liners are not confined to Healy-Rae. "We were on the Titanic, heading for the iceberg," Marie Louise quoted John Bull O'Donoghue. "But we didn't jump overboard. We ran to the tiller room and we started to steer."

Yesterday was farmer's day. The media decamped to the farm centre out beyond the sandbanks of Drimnagh. They looked uncomfortable. The disdain once shown farmers by the telly-tattlers is now reserved for builders and bankers. Enda Kenny, Eamon Gilmore and Micheal Martin will all separately address the executive council of the IFA. Farmers are blunt. They only had one question for all of the leaders. When is the climate bill heading for the bin, and not the recycling bin? None of them could say. Lads get nervous four days before the exam.


MARTIN: Down. Even the farmers weren't convinced.

KENNY: Down. Can they keep him in hiding for the next three days?

GILMORE: Level. The keynote speech proved another Gilmore gag, not a gale.

Catchphrase of the Day: "I have clarified the matter and it is now closed." Enda Kenny utters some wishful thinking. Welcome to the spotlight, Dame Enda.

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