So, Jay-Z, Beyonce and Solange are happy once again. If you missed it, Jay-Z, his wife Beyonce and her sister Solange were in a lift in the Standard Hotel in Manhattan when Solange lost the head and began to punch and kick Jay-Z. Classy girl.
We know this because someone leaked the CCTV footage of it happening. Unfortunately, the footage has no sound, so we don’t know what caused the flare-up (although weirdly a lot of people seem to have assumed that Jay-Z did something to cause it, despite zero evidence).
Anyhow, they released a statement yesterday that said, in essence, “we’re not telling you what caused it, and we’re all pals and a close-knit family, so nothing to see here”. As statements go, it’s one of the most unsatisfying ever released. We frankly do not give a rat’s ass whether or not they are now “united”.
We do, however, have a grotty, prurient (and tremendously enjoyable) interest in what led up to Solange going bananas in a lift and it looks like we’ll never know.
But we can learn something from this event nonetheless - the adage about money not making you happy turns out to be true. That’s proven by how Beyonce reacted - she didn’t react. At all.
She didn’t cower, she didn’t weigh in, she wasn’t shocked, she wasn’t upset. She reacted like it was normal.
If she lives in a world where physical violence within her family is a norm, what’s the point being rich? I think most of us would rather be part of a happy family than rich and surrounded by aggression and anger.
Why leave the perfect job?
The Tanaiste has hinted he may leave the Department of Foreign Affairs. While taking credit for having been central to improving our international reputation, he said he wasn’t “wedded to any particular Department”.
He should be. He should cling on to Foreign Affairs with his teeth and fingernails. Foreign Affairs is a golden ministry.
You cannot get it wrong. No one shouts at you. No unions criticize you.
No one cares if you make cut-backs. And your job basically consists of having dinner and taking diplomatic selfies with world leaders.
Even Defence isn’t as good (there’s always the chance someone will get killed in action and raise questions about your stewardship of defence policy).
And the theoretically cuddly Arts brief brings with it the chance an angry poet will get high and mighty about something daft like arts funding. And Justice… Well, let’s not talk about Justice…
If Gilmore has any wit, he’ll have a re-think and look at how to make Foreign Affairs suit his needs better, rather than leaping into the barren dangerous wasteland of a domestic department.
Andrew Shannon appeared this week before Cloverhill District Court charged with destroying two paintings in the Shelbourne Hotel.
During the bail hearing he roared at the judge “f**k you, f**k you, you tramp. I hope you die of a heart attack.” Now I’m no lawyer but I reckon “f**k you, you tramp” is not the kind of conversational gambit that plays well with district judges…
Students have nothing to learn
A bunch of students in the US found $40,000 in a couch they got in a charity shop. The money was in an envelope with the original owner’s name on it. So they gave it back.
They did the right thing, hooray for them. Now that we’ve said that, let’s apply a bit of logic. No one steals a couch. Tellies, computers, DVDs - yes. Couches - no.
So this couch was deliberately given away.
That means one of three things - the owner of the couch is dead and it was part of the estate sale, the owner of the couch has too much money to care, or the owner of the couch is mentally bewildered.
All of which point to one thing - keep the damn money!