"Joyous, dangerous and unavoidable" was how Harold Pinter described the click between him and the love of his life, historian Antonia Fraser. It's the last word in that sentence that illustrates how little choice most of us have when it comes to who we fall for -- but I still believe we all have a 'type'.
Fraser was a famous beauty but if she wasn't as talented and smart as she is there's little chance that Pinter would have muttered the now famous line the first time they met at a party while they were both still married to other people: "Must you go?"
For some men the physical attraction may have been enough to start an affair but Pinter's 'type' was strong, smart and intelligent women.
I appreciate the very same qualities in men -- and everyone I've dated has been all of those things, plus in most cases they were also all older than me. Significantly older.
I don't have what is often referred to as a 'daddy complex'.
I just instinctively gravitate towards the company of older men for relationships.
And while society is less judgmental about younger women dating older men some people do squirm when they find out my current partner is 16 years older than I am.
If I'm in one of my cheeky moods I wind them up by saying that the only thing that made me pause and think before we actually hooked up was the fact that he's a wee bit younger than some of my previous loves.
I adore hanging out with anyone who can teach me something new -- knowledge and wisdom are aphrodisiacs for me and older men have these qualities in spades.
I'm also headstrong, terribly stubborn and can get bored easily -- so I need to be kept in line and constantly challenged. All of the older men that I've been with have had the confidence to stand up to a girl with these qualities.
My mentor, who has guided me through my working life, has given me some of the best career advice. Which is why every time I've hit the work wall his advice has guided me through.
I honestly don't think a younger guy would have been so savvy.
People feel icky about age gaps for all sorts of reasons, the two most popular being 'sure, you'll end up caring for an old man when you're still a young woman' and 'what happens if/when he loses his sex drive'.
For me, if that click with friends and lovers is there then I don't sweat the small stuff. I don't sweat any of the stuff. Sure, it's all a part of growing up.