herald

Wednesday 17 January 2018

Dates from Hell

People share their stories of their own worst date:

"I had one who turned up, on a warm summer evening, in a huge Aran jumper because he thought I'd like that, being Irish."

"On a date once, the girl got legless. When I tried to help she said, 'you only want to have your way with me, you red-nosed Irish bastard'."

"I went on a date once with a woman who showed me 25 photos she'd taken of Sylvia Plath's grave as a conversation opener."

"I met a girl who told me she had a gastric band. Later I came back from the toilet to find her crying and both of our desserts gone."

"Wasn't a first date -- once escaped from a morning-after situation by joining an animal rights march shouting 'this is important to me'."

"A date met me with a mix cassette tape (in 2005) of him MC-ing to hard house. He did observational 'freestyle' rap all evening."

"Exchange student date of mine once took 25 mins and Span-Eng dictionary to ask if he could take 'sensual picturegaph' of me. I declined."

"Girl took me to a 'party'. Turned out to be just-ex bf's leaving do after he'd quit his job, heartbroken. His mate broke my thumb."

"I went on an awkward date where the guy made me do acro-yoga with him in his apartment and balance on his feet."

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