Sinead Ryan: Miley, stop insulting your fans by whingeing and admit you're damn lucky
It's bad enough having to put up with celebrity millionaire pop stars who were born long after you were old enough to vote, without having to put up with them whingeing over how hard life is being a celebrity millionaire pop star too.
Actually, having your dad to do it for you is even worse. Miley Cyrus's old man, Billy Ray, has announced that the whole fame thing was a disaster, poor little Miley and her family have been ruined forever while the actress-cum-singer herself has said she'd "erase it all in a second". Yep -- everything.
All the millions, the big house, private jet, the red carpet, designer dresses, the garage full of cars, the Barbados holidays ... oh, er, no actually, she didn't go that far, because of course, there's nothing stopping her doing just that right this minute and giving up the whole gig and going off to live a hermetic existence in outer Mongolia.
Not doing any of those things and continuing the awful, horrific existence of being a pampered millionaire pop star, gruelling as it must be, but moaning about it instead to everyone whose hard-earned money made it all possible, is the ultimate rich-bitch fest. It won't endear Miley, or her dad, to any of her teenybopper fans, most of whom would give their right arm for a day in her sweet little life.
In his recent interview with GQ magazine, Billy Ray claims that Hannah Montana, the show which brought his daughter to number 35 in Forbes' Top 100 Richest Celebrities list, and a personal fortune of well over €30m "destroyed" his family. Billy Ray, whose most recent claim to fame was guesting on Dancing With The Stars, said his decision to not turn up at Miley's 18th birthday party was on the grounds that it was held in a bar. Bit late now to start the parenting thing, don't you think?
It's a bit precious also to whine about how your daughter's success has damaged you when you're the parent who started them off on the slippery road to fame at the tender age of eight.
Miley, bar a few hiccups, has led a fairly exemplary life for a famous teenager and has come far better out of the mould than fellow child stars like Britney Spears, Rihanna or Kelly Osbourne, the latter of whom could truly be forgiven for having parents who make your very existence cringingly embarrassing.
La Osbourne also claims fame ruined her life, but in fairness, with Sharon and Ozzy hanging around for 18 years, that's the only likely outcome.
"Being rich and famous is my biggest problem," she said in an interview. "Growing up in public sucks. It's hard enough being judged by family, never mind the whole world."
Miley's whinges, on the other hand, are sure to go down well with her tiny fans, many of whom spend their pocket money on her records, movies, T-shirts and assorted, expensive paraphernalia which all go to making her the world's richest little spoilt brat.
Miley has had the benefit of lots of things that others who go off the rails lack. She had a stable upbringing; her godmother was Dolly Parton, who could surely teach her a thing or two about the downside of fame; her beloved granddad was a respected, and respectable, politician. Her parents remained married to each other until very recently -- in itself a Hollywood novelty.
Crying into your millions 10 years down the road is just insulting. In fact, Miley would be doing herself and her fans a favour by coming out and saying something along the lines of, "Look, everyone, I had a kind of weird life, but I've been immensely lucky too. My parents made choices for me as a kid which I wouldn't necessarily condone for anyone else, but there you go. I also made a shed load of money, half of which I plan to donate to unfortunate deprived kids who will never have the good fortune to whinge about which of their five houses they'll live in for the summer."
Yep -- won't happen. So in the meantime, tell Dad to put a lid on it, get over his jealousy and that you're doing fine. Despite him, not because of him.