herald

Monday 20 November 2017

Detox and ditch all this junk

So it's time for a detox. And I don't mean just taking the Christmas tree down to the recycling centre. I need to be ruthless and get rid of all the junk cluttering my life.

Unfortunately, I am a hoarder. I have a whole wardrobe of clothes for a size-eight woman and I am a size 12. I have a press full of maternity clothes and love letters from ex-boyfriends who now have families with other women and most likely do not remember me at all. I have bags with broken straps, and shoes with broken heels that I've been meaning to get repaired for years. One skip would not be enough.

The worrying thing is that I got a skip a few months ago. I filled it to the sky and felt an enormous sense of relief when they came to take it and my clutter away. So how am I back to where I started? Well, the problem is that I hit the sales this year. Usually, I am not big into sales. I worked as a manager in a department store many moons ago and I still have nightmares of women pushing and shoving each other to get a bargain. We used to have a bargain bin with a 99p sign on the top of it. Inside was mostly rubbish that we couldn't sell, and to witness grown-up women hurling themselves on top of the bin as though their lives depended on it, was frightening.

I think because of my time spent in retailing I don't care much for sales, and I dislike crowds even more. So this year, I decided to skip the madness and go off down the country for a couple of nights detox. The only problem was that my hotel was next door to a shop having a closing-down sale.

I thought I would pop in out of curiosity. What was the harm in having a browse? Well, plenty of harm as far as my credit card was concerned. I started off by buying some brightly coloured plastic cups. They will be handy when I'm having a barbecue, I thought, throwing them into a basket. Never mind that we aren't even half way into January, I also bought a pair of cute gardening gloves.



candles

Then I noticed the Christmas shop with 50pc off everything. I bought scented candles, wrapping paper, baubles and even Christmas crackers. Then I bought a huge cookbook which was an absolute bargain at a fiver, a coat for my son Gary suitable for age six even though he isn't three yet.

I know . . . madness, but it was so cute! I got a jacket for Dad for his birthday and a jumper with a reindeer on it for myself because there was a full 70pc off. So much for my de-cluttering weekend!

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