Get the emergency drumstick, quick!
The fact that prison rioters in Cloverhill (inset) were reportedly coaxed down from the roof last week with the offer of snackboxes raises so many new and wonderful possibilities in policing and justice.
Bank robbery turns into a siege? Whip out the spiceburgers. Terrorist threat in a major city? KFC family bucket. Peace process gets a bit wobbly? Cod and chips.
It's startling that it takes a prison riot to show us what we should already know - every crisis situation is improved with a take-away.
According to sources, the prison authorities offered food because the prisoners get tired, cold and hungry on the roof and the offer of chips gives them a reason to come down without losing face.
But we know the truth is simpler - whenever there's trouble, batter makes it better.