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Tuesday 12 December 2017

Anna Nolan: You name it, Mark ... sorry, Markus ... has it for making it big

Markus Feehily
Markus Feehily
Mark Feehily
50 Shades of Grey

Markus. What a nice name. A little fancier, a little cooler and a little longer than Mark.

Two more letters that shift the name from short and snappy to all grown up.

So Mark Feehily from Westlife is now Markus Feehily, solo artist.

Just as well he wasn't Shane and Kian - Shanus and Kianus wouldn't really cut it.

But I think he has a lot more going for him than just the elongated name. He has the best voice of Westlife and his new single is cracking.

decent

I listened to Love is a Drug expecting a ballad with a big key change, all in all the usual cheesy slush fest.

Instead, what I heard was a very decent tune, with a nod to O.T. Quartet's Hold That Sucker Down (my favourite dance track of all time).

Life after a boyband can be very tough indeed. We have seen many a boyband star attempt to make a singing career and fail.

The chance to hide behind four-part harmony is gone and you are on your own. In a band, the fans can glance from one member to another, but when you're solo all eyes are on you.

From East 17 to Five, from 911 to Take That, some have succeeded but most have not.

Post-girlband life is just as tough. B*Witched, Pussycat Dolls, Atomic Kitten, Sugababes. For every one success there are many who have not been so successful.

The ones of course who stand out as having hit the big time are Robbie Williams, Gary Barlow, Nicole Scherzinger and, in fairness, all the Spice Girls.

The most successful of all would be Michael Jackson and Justin Timberlake.

Michael Jackson left his brothers in the dust to become a global megastar and having spent years in the band N'Sync, Justin seamlessly slipped away into superstardom.

terrific

Back home, Brian McFadden was the first Westlife member to go it alone. He sang a song about the Christian brothers and the rest, as they say, is history.

Shane had a go and released his album, You and Me. It didn't do well.

Kian, I think, is making music when he's not spinning around in his red chair.

But I have a feeling that Markus might just be the most successful one from Westlife.

He took his time, he has a terrific voice and he has added two letters on to his name.

Sure what more do you need to do?

 

Spanks for all the laughs Jamie ...  it's the best comedy I've seen in ages

So I went to see Fifty Shades of Grey. It is, without doubt, the funniest movie I have seen in a long time. Totes hilarious as they say. 

I spent the whole two hours with my jumper stuffed into my mouth, trying not to choke on the laughter.

As I walked into the cinema with my sister, I looked at her and said: "I am morto going to a film like this with you." She said she was morto too.

There was no need to worry. We sat through the first five minutes and then the uncontrollable giggling began. It was when Jamie Dornan said something along the lines of: "If you were with me you wouldn't be able to sit down for a week."

Ah heyor! If there was anything to turn you off a fella, it's him telling you that you'd be in agony if you were with him. It's like something you'd hear from a drunk eejit in Coppers.

As the movie progressed, we settled into bad acting, bad directing and bad script.

One of the biggest surprises was the noises we heard from the cinema audience. One would not be surprised if there had been a few sighs and the odd little moan. But no. Anytime Christian, the lead bottom spanker, bought Anastacia, the lead spankee, a present, half the auditorium would go "Awwwwwwwwww".

He bought her a car: they went "Awwwwwww". He bought her a laptop: they went "Awwwwwwwwww". It was as if the women in the audience could not believe just how generous Mr Spanker could be. For every whip mark, there was a pressie. Weird how all the women loved this notion.

My sister is straight and I am gay. But we both equally felt that this was the unsexiest, dullest, most ridiculous movie we had ever seen.

We did agree, however, that it was one of the funniest.

DJ spat over Ed is certainly no Garthgate

It wasn't exactly like the big gig news story of last year. Back then the nation was shook to its core when the Garth Brooks' shows at Croke Park were cancelled.

Now the big Croker news is that Ed Sheeran is going to play there this summer. Nice, but not mega news. It certainly didn't warrant two DJs getting in trouble because they broke an embargo by revealing the gig. It will be interesting to see if Ed will do well in such a big stadium though.

My favourite dress of the Oscars was without a doubt the one which Lupita Nyong'o wore. This stunning actress seems to choose the perfect colours and the perfect designs. It could have looked draining on anyone else, but on Lupita it was divine.

This Friday we have the The Late Late Show Eurovision special. Yayyyyyyyyyy! Who are we going to send over this year and do we have a snowballs chance in hell of not coming in the last five? Who knows? Who cares? Well I do, and I will have my popcorn ready from some Euro-fabulousness.

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