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Friday 15 December 2017

Anna Nolan: She's gonna walk all over Roo

OH, the life of Coleen and Wayne, I can't avert my eyes. It's my dirty addiction and I need to get some help.

It seems the two of them are off in Portugal while she films her new Littlewoods advert. I wonder if the ad that's out at the moment has undertones of retribution. As she holds her whip under her arm, Nancy Sinatra is crooning, "These boots were made for walking ... "

A premonition perhaps, that she is gonna walk all over him!

My advice to our X Factor finalists as they face the vote of 12 million viewers

Dear Mary, Rebecca and Niall,

You are about to enter the most exciting stage of your lives -- the live finals of X Factor! Not only are your family behind you, but all the Irish fans that live in Ireland and the UK. No pressure!

Having been through a somewhat similar experience, I can give you a glimpse of what is about to happen, and maybe a pointer or two on how to get through it.

ADORATION

Firstly -- enjoy it. Take the attention and the chauffeur-driven cars, and the fancy hotels and the adoration, and put them all into a part of your brain that you can call on when times get tough.

To be singing in front of 12 million people is an incredible experience -- one that many aspire to but few achieve. You have earned your places on that stage, so don't let anyone make you feel you shouldn't be there.

ROTTEN

Reality shows are fuelled by criticism, voting and competitiveness. Not only might you have judges saying you were rotten, but you will have journalists putting you down, and the most frightening of all -- the public deciding not to vote for you.

Every Friday night, when I would sit on the couch in the Big Brother house, and await to hear whose name Davina would read out, my mind would stop racing for 10 seconds and all I could feel was my heart beating.

It is the oddest experience, and completely contrived. When I look back, it seems such nonsense, but at the time you feel your life is about to be turned upside down. It might for a while, but things go back to normal.

Don't underestimate how strange it will feel that your life becomes a bubble of photographers, autographs and potential record deals.

I had a book offer for thousands, and yes someone said those ridiculous words "Would you like to release a song?" Well ridiculous to me, as I laughed at the idea. But these proposals might leave you as quick as they appear, and if they don't -- lucky you.

SILLY

You all come from places in Ireland that will celebrate their new stars-- Ballyfermot, Tallaght and Mullingar.

Keep home in mind as you are made luvvies of London.

Finally, take this opportunity with both hands and make the most of every second.

You might not win, but doors will open and opportunities will arise.

I didn't win, but I made sure that I worked my arse off for the following 10 years.

I have travelled the world filming with the BBC, made documentaries for RTE, and have never lost sight that a silly ol' girl from Rialto got one chance -- and dived in head first.

Go n-eiri an bothair libh and have a ball!

What is with this Lenihan lovefest?

ARE you feeling the Lenihan love? It's been creeping around the watercooler since Cowen fell the last few feet foul of our trust. "Not bad, that Brian," you might say. "Better than your man," someone might add. "Seems to know his stuff alright," says another.

Last week the Finance Minister spent more time out there, talking to the media, to us, than any other TD -- even the Taoiseach. Between Morning Ireland, Prime Time and other platforms, he's been doing the total workout.

Theodore Roosevelt once said "The most successful politician is he who says what the people are thinking most often in the loudest voice." Indeed, there is a sense that Brian Lenihan has the common touch, that he says what we are thinking.

But let's not make the mistake of going for 'the next best thing' just for the sake of it.

Lenihan hasn't just crept up out of nowhere, a hero to lead us into the sunset. In all too many respects, the two Brians are two faces of the same animal. Perhaps that's why I find choosing between them such a tough call.

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