Tuesday 12 December 2017

Anna Nolan: Imagine if Thelma and Louise had a slightly insane pal - well, that's me

Thelma & Louise
Thelma & Louise
Thelma & Louise
Nickey Brennan
Vogue Williams
Andres Rodriguez, from Venezuela, competing on Caballito celebrates after clearing the wall during the Land Rover Puissancein, during the Discover Ireland Dublin Horse Show 2015

I was driving down to Brittas Bay on Saturday morning. The sun was shining on the Sugar Loaf and the fields along the N11 looked lush and green. I was looking forward to a couple of days out of Dublin when I remembered I'd forgotten a toothbrush, pyjamas and my inhaler.

That's typical for me. I am without doubt the worst packer in the world. And this is beginning to cause me a little concern because I'm about to embark on the road trip of a lifetime with my sister and my mam.

I'm off shortly with the two of them to Los Angeles, Malibu and Las Vegas. A bit like Thelma & Louise plus one, the three amigas are hitting the highway, and I don't even know if I'll have a suitcase.


My sister is incredibly organised. She has already done her Penneys' shop and will have started to put bits and bobs into her case. My mam left me a message saying she had everything she needed. She probably has all her tops and bottoms folded neatly and good to go.

With this in mind I went to the big shopping centre in Arklow last Saturday to begin my holiday shopping. I went into Next and got bored. Then I went into Dunnes Stores and got bored. So I went to the food section, bought a breast of chicken and olive oil and left to drive back to my mobile home. No clothes, no swimsuit, no toiletries, just grub.

Later on Saturday night, as I was on my third glass of wine, I wrote a list. And then a sub-list. And then a sub-sub-list. I read the lists in the morning, began to panic and put them away.

I know what will happen. I'll call my family and friends for a suitcase the day before I go, stuff a load of the wrong clothes in it and look like Thelma and Louise's slightly insane friend.

Remember Alan in The Hangover (the Zach Galifianakis character)? That will be me.

But who cares? We have the trip of a lifetime ahead of us.

We will arrive in LA and spend three nights in Santa Monica. The plan is to do the most touristy things possible - visit the Hollywood sign, Rodeo Drive, Paramount Pictures and Sunset Boulevard.

Believe me, I'm going to selfie the bejaysus out of this trip,

Then it's off to Las Vegas for three nights. Our reference point here is Sharon Stone in the movie Casino. You may remember a shot where she throws loads of money in the air? Yep, my mam and Isobel will be throwing at least $15 in small coins, in slow motion, in the air each night in the casino. I mean it - at least €15.

Finally, we have booked a fabulous house in Topanga National Park at the end. Four nights of secluded bliss - which we'll need by that stage.

It will be the holiday of a lifetime and we are all so excited - the texts between us are getting ridiculous now. Messages like "Too excited to sleep!" are being sent nightly.

I still don't know what I'm going to pack. I may end up wearing Uggs and a rain jacket. But being on the road with my family is all that matters.


Sneaky shower snap shows that only idiots post first and ask questions later

Nickey Brennan 4.jpg
Nickey Brennan

Nickey Brennan

Nickey Brennan must be livid. I would be. Some idiot surreptitiously took a photo of the former president of the GAA as he was coming out of the showers in a hotel leisure centre and posted it on social media.

God, there are a lot of morons out there.

The internet has given stupid people too much power, and with it being such a dangerous medium they forget to consider the effect on those whose images they snap and share.

I made the mistake myself recently. I can get a little carried away taking photos and posting them on social media to give the impression that I live a super-cool, happy, fun and exciting life. I don't. I live a mostly mundane, unsophisticated, humdrum life. So when I'm in a place that screams 'fab', I stupidly want the world to see it.


A couple of weeks ago, as I was getting carried away in a fab bar, I got snap-happy and posted images online. The following day there was a short sharp message from one of the com- pany. Take those photos of me down.

She was absolutely right. Who are we to publish, without consent, any image of anyone else? It doesn't have to be a man coming out of a changing room shower, though that is particularly idiotic and cruel. It can be wedding photos, parties or any type of gatherings.

We've read of the celebrities whose personal photos were hacked and posted online. I don't think it will be long before everyone will want to have control over their images being published, even if it's just from a Friday night down the local.

Nickey Brennan has stated that the incident is over and done with and that he just wants to move on. Unfortunately, the image that was captured and put on social media is not over and done with, it will be there for ever.


Love split? Time for a nude shoot

Vogue Williams

What do you do when you go through a difficult public separation? Well, if you're a celeb you do a nudey photo shoot of course, silly.

Yes, poor Vogue Williams and Brian McFadden separated after three years of marriage recently and it seems the media attention has not done them any harm. Vogue is now the face, (and arms, body and bum) of a self-tanning product.

In the meantime Brian revealed on Twitter that he is releasing a new single and is coming back to Dublin to perform his music for fans. I. Simply. Cannot. Wait.


Now that's an Irish show 'jumper'

Andres Rodriguez, from Venezuela, competing on Caballito celebrates after clearing the wall during the Land Rover Puissancein, during the Discover Ireland Dublin Horse Show 2015

My favourite moment of the past week came in the form of a stripper.

No, I wasn't hanging out in some dodgy nightclub (though I must admit that I'm partial to dodgy night clubs). Instead it was the moment Venezuelan show-jumper Andres Rodriguez (inset) made it over the mammoth wall during the Dublin Horse Show's Puissance event.

To celebrate, he took off his jacket and revealed an Irish rugby jersey (inset). The crowd went wild and I did that embarrassing clapping at the television thing, all on my own. I didn't care - I'm not ashamed to say I got caught up in the moment. Andres won me over completely.

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