Wives are smarter but it's a man's world
All that money spent on expensive highlights? Wasted.
To say nothing of the time spent in weight training classes designed to keep my chest from prematurely giving in to gravity.
Manicures, waxing, beauty treatments and learning how to cook delicious meals? Why did I bother?
Seemingly, good looks or the ability to provide domestic comfort have nothing to do with it, darling. This week University of Wisconsin research showed that couples with the same levels of education are more likely to stay together than those where the husband had the higher level.
In an even more radical finding, the research suggests that couples where the woman is better educated than her partner are even more stable again.
This, seemingly, is being hailed as a victory for feminism; men finally being persuaded that brainy women are better partners than big-busted blondes.
Hooray! Instead of wanting their women to stay home - cleaning, hoovering, cooking, minding the children and then greeting their hard-working hubbie at the door each evening, perfectly coiffed with beef bourguignon on the stove and a gin and tonic ready to pour - today's post-feminist men expect? Well, what?
"Tell me honestly," I asked Mr Hunt yesterday, "was it really my brains you married me for and not my thick blonde hair and more than generous bust size?"
"Eh, of course, it was," he said. "It's always your mind I've been interested in, the other stuff is just, erm, well, added on-extras."
"It's WHAT?" "Well, very much appreciated added on extras." "Like what?" "Well, like the fact that you erm, look good. And you're brainy...and eh, well read and you can cook too..." he trailed off.
And now I suddenly get it. Blokes today want their women to do it all.
You see fellow feminists, this is the big wheeze we've all fallen for. In the 50s and 60s our stay-at-home sisters had a deal going with their men.
Women did the cooking, cleaning and childcare and the men provided the cash and took care of the DIY.
But today's highly educated women not only contribute just as much to the financial running of the household, but they still do all the jobs their mother did as well. And more.
No wonder the blokes don't mind if you have an extra degree or three, because it means they don't even have to keep the "breadwinner" side of the domestic bargain as you earn cash and do the lion's share of the housework.
I'm beginning to suspect that no matter how well educated the women are, it's still always going to be a man's world. Meanwhile, I better go get the dinner on...