herald

Saturday 18 August 2018

Savage i: Lucinda's gay stance sparks a little romance

Lucinda Creighton has annoyed the internet. She said she didn't support gay marriage and helpful net users have attacked her repeatedly to teach her about openness and tolerance.

Nothing gets someone to change their views like a good sustained character assassination. It is wonderful that we have caring liberals willing to take beliefs they disagree with and pound them down the throat of the person stupid enough to use free speech for saying the wrong thing.

Without decent, caring enlightened thought-police, there is a constant risk that people might not all think the same. So Lucinda found herself being re-educated via her Facebook page.

In the midst of all the comments, there hid a wonderful proof that hormones can still overwhelm ideology. A young woman (a blonde like Lucinda as happens, except she's right-thinking and therefore blessed with the divine permission to be self-righteous) posted a little lecture on how Lucinda had lost her vote.

Her comment was immediately responded to by a guy, who was so clearly moved by her argument that he wrote "dammit, your hot".

She immediately sensed that she had found a convert and decided to sink the hook before he swam away, "Thanks =) I'm hoping on using my good looks and intelligence to get a seat in the next election!" (Try not to fixate on the grammar of 'hoping on', this lady was clearly under pressure to land the young convert and hadn't time for syntax. His response; "youl

have my vote girlie. Lol" Again, the man has dispensed with apostrophes for the sake of sealing the deal.

Wouldn't it be wonderful if love flourished thanks solely to young people's commitment to teaching Lucinda? Go on you two, we're rooting for you.

q Gerry Adams must be really sick of this election. After weeks of being asked about the IRA, he was on the home stretch when he found himself being roasted about his organisation's links with Colonel Gaddafi.

The Libyan leader has gotten himself in the news for some domestic industrial relations issues (he's taken the usual Social Partnership approach of declaring his intent to fight to his last drop of blood and die a martyr -- take note Jack O'Connor, that's how to start a negotiation).

This has reminded media that the IRA used to buy arms from Gaddafi, and journalists started to compete with each other in a game called Six Degrees of Muammar Gaddafi. The game is based on trying to find a connection between Gerry Adams and the Libyan leader in less than six steps. Currently the best attempt goes; Adams to Sinn Fein to the IRA to Gaddafi -- although you could possibly remove one or two of those.

Promoted articles

Entertainment News