Sunday 20 January 2019

Parodies of Browne can't match reality

"Tonight," said Vincent Browne. "We wonder if there is room for two more weeks of the election. If there is any difference at all between the main parties and if Europe will be nice when we come calling for more."

It was just as well, as he reminded us that "the tweet machine is broken and the texts and emails are on strike", because he didn't answer any of the questions. Instead he flirted with Marie-Louise O'Donnell.

Parodies of Browne are never as good as the real thing.

"Louth is a big area" said Marie-Louise O'Donnell about the smallest county in Ireland. It was that kind of night

"Micheal Martin is fighting the next election already," said Pat Kenny. Good idea, considering that we already know the result of this one. We have known since before the campaign started.

Apparently he is too late.

On Wexford local radio Fine Gael leader Enda Kenny told a startled Alan Corcoran on South East Radio his intention was to keep Fianna Fail out of Government for 10 years because of the damage it has done to the country.

It was great to hear the leader of the opposition announce that the country is free again, to hear the cheers and see the flag-waving of the liberated masses.

Was that Al Jazeera or South East Radio? Hard to tell.

If 1992 was the local radio election, this is the one where national radio moved down the country. Pat Kenny went on tour, Drivetime is doing weathervane constituencies and Damien Kiberd on Newstalk was in virtual Donegal.

Joe Higgins told the nation what a hard time he was going to give the bondholders.

"The IMF needs to tell us now if renegotiation is possible," he said.

Alas poor Thomas Davis must be spinning in his grave. And Ireland long a province be: renegotiation once again.

"At this stage, two weeks out from the vote, is it fair to say it is time to put away the Gilmore for Taoiseach posters?" the Labour leader was asked by Sean O'Rourke.

"No," said Eamon Gilmore. "it is a three-way campaign. The Labour party objective is to lead the next government."

And these guys want the voters to be realistic?

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