herald

Sunday 19 August 2018

No one's there as FG finally start on time

Fine Gael got cranky yesterday. They were slagged so much about their Wednesday press conference starting late the day before they made sure yesterday's started on time.

Except there was nobody there. Everybody was late arriving from the Fianna Fail press conference. Why? Fianna Fail allows all questions, not like the FGers the day before, the journos sulked. Lots of tut-tutting all around.

The best attended press conference once, again, was Labour's. Is that a portent? There is the Labour way or the Frankfurt way, explained Eamon Spillmore. Evidently we are now closer to Blarney than either Boston or Berlin.

As posters flew through the streets, the choices became clearer. Photos of TDs became lethal weapons.

Would we prefer to be mugged by Micheal Martin? Garroted by Gilmore? Decapitated by Kenny?

One of the TDs tweeted that a Jamaican might soon be looking at his poster if the wind picks up. Another tweeter pondered why is it that people were only hit by posters of parties that they do not support?

As far as our rival TV debates are concerned, the loftier the better. We had George Soros on TV3 and Adam Smith on RTE last night and a rapid-fire gaggle of high-powered economists listed by Constantin Gurdgiev as default-proponents. "None of those distinguished people is chairman of the European Central Bank," Vincent pointed out. Later VB said something truly wise. "It would be better if only two of you spoke at the same time. If all four of you speak at the same time it is a bad idea."

How should one broker the disagreement between Fine Gael and Labour? Get a Fianna Failer to slag them off.

"One is calling the other nonsense, the other is saying I didn't say that," said Sean Fleming on Prime Time. "Two of the experienced politicians, not the young turks of Fine Gael and Labour, and they cannot agree." It was Brendan Howlin who had fired the salvo, accusing Fine Gael of stealing Labour's health policy. "You can't push out more borrowing, more taxes," responded Richard. Fleming intervened and red and blue were all on the same side again. Sorted.

Leaderwatch

MARTIN: Up. Looked well as he lectured Enda Can-he. Is it our imagination or does Micheal look like Voldemort on the election posters?

KENNY: Down. After gaining seven points by staying out of view, why did they let Can-he back to slag off Gemma Hussey?

GILMORE: Up. That old catch-cry, "the Germans have landed" is always worth a wave of the red flag.

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