A reveller who had "free drinks and Jagerbombs" on a night out was later found with cuts on his face and hurling drunken abuse in a garage forecourt after placing a petrol pump, briquettes and firewood on the ground.
Plant hire company manager Shane Egan (38) had gone to Dublin for an event at a comedy venue before he was arrested over the "bizarre" episode at a filling station in Ranelagh.
Judge Michael Walsh said he would leave Egan without a criminal record if he makes a €250 charity donation.
Egan, of Laburnum Lodge, Newtown, Celbridge, Co Kildare, pleaded guilty to public intoxication and threatening, abusive and insulting behaviour. Dublin District Court heard the incident happened at Circle K, Ranelagh, at 3am last December 17.
Gardai were called to the scene when it was reported the accused was standing at the hatch.
He was "quite intoxicated" and had "engaged in verbals" with the staff, a sergeant said.
A petrol pump had been taken and placed on the ground by Egan, as had a number of items from the forecourt, including briquettes and firewood.
Egan began shouting at the officers when they arrived, and they noted he was intoxicated and acting in an aggressive manner.
After he was arrested and taken to a garda station, he soiled a blanket in the cell, which required professional cleaning.
His only previous conviction was for speeding.
The accused had gone into town to visit a comedy venue, his solicitor Paul Byrne said.
"There were free drinks, and on top of that there were Jagerbombs. He doesn't recognise the person being described," Mr Byrne said, adding that what happened was "bizarre".
Egan was "extremely anxious" to be left without criminal convictions.
Judge Walsh noted that by pleading guilty he had saved the State time and expense.
He adjourned the case to later this month and said he would leave Egan without convictions if he pays €250 to Ronald McDonald House.