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Come on Bertie, who do you think you're kidding?

Why is Bertie Ahern doing interviews? What does he think he can possibly achieve? Has his famous common touch gone numb?

If he wants to rebuild his reputation, the only way he'll do it is a big hardback book with a title like Bertie Ahern; How I Brought Peace But Made A Pig's Breakfast Of The Economy. Rehabilitating his reputation will not be helped by doing a Big Interview with Mike Murphy, regardless of the unthreatening nature of Mike's affably squidgy persona.

It will certainly not be fixed by an interview which begins with him being filmed getting out of a black Merc before spending 10 minutes saying "it wasn't my fault lads" followed by half-an-hour of sitting with Murphy while the latter gently trawls the same grounds that the tribunal and every political correspondent in the country fished out over the past decade.



Just don't fly Iranian air!

Poor old Iran -- the US trade embargo has meant it can't get parts for state-owned Boeing airplanes. This has led to one of them -- a relic 727 -- having to land without a nose wheel. Scary for the passengers but highly entertaining for YouTube users; if you've never seen a plane land on its chin, google 'Iran Plane Landing' and enjoy.



Protesters in lap of luxury

Anti-capitalism protesters have been camping out in cities around the world. They are protesting at the global hunt for profit.

They are doing this by staying in Gore-Tex tents, ensconced in thinsulate high-efficiency sleeping bags on therma-rest self-inflating groundpads, only emerging to do interviews with News Corporation reporters filmed on Canon XH-A1 cameras. Thank God there are still brave people like them, idealistic enough to live without the products created by mercenary capitalist corporations...



Union get rich quick scheme

THE ICTU has called for a 2.5pc additional levy on corporate profits to help plug the gap in the public finances. Franklin Delano Roosevelt introduced a similar tax (the undistributed profits tax) in the Great Depression.

Many economists now argue it hampered business growth. But, more importantly, several analysts say that it had the odd effect of making the rich richer.

The theory goes; if you're a rich business-owner, you can make profits and use them to re-invest in your business.

If too much tax is put on those profits, you have an easy way to deal with that problem, you pay every penny of spare cash into your own pocket.

That way you get richer, you avoid the profits tax, and your business growth grinds to a halt until the tax is lifted. Wouldn't it be a staggering irony if the Government took the advice and (assuming the theory is correct) thereby made the rich richer, all on the recommendation of the Congress of Trade Unions?



Looks like a posh president

We're going to end up with a posh president; last night, inner city Dublin constituencies had a turnout of 25pc-ish, while the poshies in Clontarf were around the 50pc mark. That's bad news for Martin McGuinness and Gay Mitchell, but for Mary Davis and David Norris it may be their last vestige of hope.