herald

Wednesday 22 August 2018

You stand up to the Mammy Mafiosi, Posh

DID Victoria Beckham not get the Post-it note on becoming a new Mammy?

The one explaining that when you have a baby, you lock yourself up, don't go outside in any sort of clothing not deemed acceptable by the global Mammy unit and your shoes should be flat and sensible; in keeping with your new life as the woman who can't be bothered any more. Bye bye grooming. Hello 'letting yourself go'.

The sanctimommies are out in force, criticising her for holding baby Harper Seven while wearing heels on a shopping trip.

Sky-high black ankle boots by her favourite shoe creator Christian Louboutin. And a bright pink short dress? How very dare she.

Victoria had just showcased her latest fashion line in New York, but really she missed an opportunity to create a Mumsy clothing line. Safe, comfortable and roomy. Matching handbags and flats. Grey tops to camouflage those nasty baby puke stains. Large shapeless T-shirts saying 'Baby on board' or 'I'm so fertile, I have 3 other children'. I'd have much rather have seen those little numbers.

Does anyone really believe that she's carting the baby around the house in those heels? Maybe a kitten heel or a wedge when no one's watching. And maybe, just maybe she takes the sunglasses off too.

I just admire the fact that Victoria's not terrified of falling out of favour with the powerful Mammy Mafiosi.

And that she's continuing to indulge her potentially lethal form of pleasure while holding a baby.

Maybe we'll see her next carrying an oversized handbag as well as Harper Seven. One in each arm, balancing the other out.

An accessory off, so to speak. And proof that she's the ultimate Mommy multi-skiller.

Now what would the Sanctimommies say about that?

Promoted articles

Entertainment News