herald

Saturday 16 December 2017

Twitter's full of twaddle, twits and... twitterers

THE first time I heard about Twitter was when Stephen Fry tweeted while stuck in an elevator with a bunch of strangers.

That was February 2009.

At the time newspapers reported that Fry had apparently "cemented" his reputation as the most engaging Twitter user by posting a series of updates while trapped in the broken lift.

So you see, the bar was never really set that high. Here's a sample tweet from the comedian and writer: "Ok. This is now mad. I am stuck in a lift on the 26th floor of Centre Point. Hell's teeth. We could be here for hours. Arse, poo and widdle."

And another sample of Fry's wit: "Engineers on their way in 20 minutes apparently", this was followed by a picture of himself and his fellow passengers trapped in the cramped lift.

So three years later, one would naturally expect that users of this short-form blogging service would have upped the ante from a quality point of view.

This is sadly not the case.

Noise

Empty vessels continue to make the most noise, a point illustrated daily by many of the now more than 300 million twitterers with lots of 'celebs' wanting a piece of the action.

Danielle Lloyd (below), a WAG, who is engaged to Wolverhampton Wanderers player Jamie O'Hara, took to the forum to keep us informed about her plummeting weight. The weight loss follows an emergency blood transfusion after doctors discovered a blood clot ahead of boob job number two.

In her most recent update the model posted a photo of herself looking gaunt. Danielle wrote: "Never been so skinny & Pale!!! Need to get well & get a spray tan I think..."

And: "So fed up!! Seriously just wanna feel myself again... Not seen 8st on the scale since I was 16 #somethingwrong."

Yes love, there is something wrong here but Herald readers figured that out way before you shared your spray tan craving with the 'community'.

And while that all sounds like fun and games, Little Britain star Matt Lucas has just quit Twitter after taunts by a teenager about the death of his former partner, Kevin McGee, who was discovered hanged at his flat in 2009.

Not exactly a topic one makes fun of on any forum. Even our former Twitter champion Stephen Fry once threatened to quit when the vitriol became too much for him in November 2009: "Think I may have to give up on Twitter. Too much aggression and unkindness around."

He later changed his mind.

Well, arse, poo and widdle to the whole lot I say.

DEE O'KEEFFE

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