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REVEALED: The naken truth behind those stripper shoes

WHAT is with the stripper shoes phenomenon? Whoever thought that a skyscraper heel with a platform sole was a good idea in the footwear department needs to be quarantined and have a cool cloth permanently attached to their brow.

Apart from the fact that these shoes are guaranteed Irish to give you barking dogs, they don't look nice or do anything to flatter the leg.

Some girls seem to be under the mistaken impression that higher, chunkier shoes will elongate their stems and make the ankles look thinner, too. These women are seriously over-estimating the magic powers of a pair of shoes.



CONSTIPATED

The only thing that will change the shape of your legs is regular exercise -- a decent walk once a day should do it.

But aside from the less than pleasing aesthetics there is a practical consideration when it comes to choosing footwear, namely the ability to actually walk in them.

Most of us have been the proud owner of a pair or two of 'car-to-club' shoes in our lifetime, shoes which we either can't or won't even walk to the bus stop in.

But stripper shoes are infinitely worse.

I've seen lots of funny instances of women trying unsuccessfully to walk in them.

They lean helplessly forward while their rear end sticks out like a mantelpiece.

The overall impression is that the wearer may, in fact, be constipated.



WADDLE

You see a lot of this subversive shoe wearing activity at weddings, which makes no sense at all. These fun days normally kick off between noon and 2pm and go on well into the next morning.

So your choices are to either remain stoic and endure the discomfort and the unfortunate stripper shoe-induced waddle or recklessly kick them off as the dancing starts.

Both of these choices inevitably make you and your wedding outfit look 'less than'.

We've all heard the 'woman in comfortable shoes' jokes over the years, but if comfort over style is good enough for A-list actress Kristen Stewart, who is frequently pictured wearing Converse runners with her red carpet gowns, then I say down with the stripper shoes.

>Dee o'keeffe