Saturday 24 March 2018

If only you could delete a 'drink and dial' text message

MY drunk'n'dial days are well and truly over. The fact that I don't currently drink does, of course, make this statement temporarily bullet proof.

Anyway, I assumed that most of my pals, even those still prone to imbibing great quantities of alcohol, were on the same hymn sheet given that we are now of a certain vintage.

So imagine my surprise when I went to charge my phone one morning last week before work and saw that I had two text messages and one missed call overnight.

We'll go from the bottom up.

The first text was simply "here". This came at 23.50pm and was followed by a later text, at 12.49am to be precise, with a simple request: "suck me bad".

The missed call, without any voice message, was placed at 1.04am. It was possibly at that point my pal realised that he had been texting the wrong person.

Scarlet or what?

I'd like to say we've all been there, but phone sex, never mind text sex, has never really been my bag. I do, however, remember sending an email to an ex boss, who is a good pal asking him if his deputy was still a terrorist.


The deputy responded from the editor's email account that she was in fine fettle and that her boss, my ex boss, was on holiday and would no doubt respond upon his return.

I thought I was being had as the boss had a wicked sense of humour - so I sent a follow up email saying I knew he was trying to wind me up.

The deputy once again responded to me in a neutral and non-terrorist fashion that she was, in fact, attending to her boss's email while he was away but would be sure to pass on my regards.

The sports editor, who sits in the same office, then mailed me to confirm that this was in fact the case but also to thank me for giving him the best laugh of his day so far.

Years later, I'm still embarrassed even thinking about it, and I can't even blame this one on the booze.

When you think about it modern technology is a bit like alcohol really - a blessing and a curse!

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