herald

Monday 17 December 2018

How to keep cool in the heat of an argument

No below-the-belt blows. When arguing, discuss the issue at hand and resist the urge to dump other problems into the conversation.

Tempting though it may be, try not to yell or say something like 'look, relax'. There is no quicker way to make the other person feel accused of being in the wrong.

Draw out a sort of 'code of conduct', while there are no tensions brewing or arguments looming and stick to it when things get heated.

Never go to bed on an argument. Sit down and talk about how and why you fight when the waters are calm.

One fail-safe way of surviving any fight is to remove yourself from the scene when things get a little heated. Devise a 'code word' that reminds you to go back to your proverbial corners and have time out from the fight. If you tell the other person you need five minutes to cool off, it can be really helpful when you're both trying to get to the other side.

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