herald

Sunday 19 August 2018

Five things women do that scare the life out of men . . .

YOU think you're being loving, yet he thinks you're behaving like a lunatic. There are ways to recognise when your behaviour is sending the wrong signals.

1>Acting like a couple after a first date You keep ringing to say, "Hello" and "Goodnight" every day after a first date, and start inviting him along to all your plans. Yet it's not flattering to him to think that you want to talk to him all the time, or show him off.

He just feels he has come across a woman with a big emotional hole in her life -- and no friends. He wants to win you over, and to convince you he is boyfriend material, and not be a shoo-in.

It's not that men are afraid of commitment -- don't most men marry? -- but they are terrified of being railroaded into a relationship they're not sure about.

2>Asking if your bum looks big The beginning of a relationship is supposed to be fun and sexy -- he's doesn't want to hear that you would be happier a stone lighter, or have had a falling out with a friend, or are in debt.

Men and women bond in different ways; men tell problems to one another when they're looking for solutions, and women do it to build up a sense of connection.

If you confess to things you don't like, he'll assume you want him to mend them, and feel overwhelmed and wonder if he can fix all your things as well as all his own.

3>Being too nice "Sure." "If you like." "Whatever you prefer." These are the responses men dread hearing from a woman, because it shows you have stopped being the sassy and independent woman he fell for, and are turning into a doormat.

Women risk becoming too accommodating after good sex, and can start swapping watching Downton Abbey for sports shows, or Come Dine with Me for Top Gear.

It shows you are losing your individuality, and he'll lose trust in you -- if he can't be sure of what you don't like, he won't be confident he knows what you like.

4>trying to make him jealous

If a man fancies you, in his eyes you're the sexiest woman in the room. If you insist on flirting with other men, or constantly flaunting your best assets, he'll begin to suspect you are trying to wreck his head and make him jealous. Instead, keep him on his toes by not being available all the time.

5>Hysteria A man gets worried when a woman calmly tells him what's wrong, and what she needs for a situation to improve. If a woman can be unemotional while making a point, he worries she can be unemotional when walking out the door on him.

Alternatively, if you scream and blubber he'll see you as a hysterical woman, and feel threatened by your company, and actually want you to leave.

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