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Five pathetic parental ploys

AMUSING your kids is a challenge -- here's our guide to the pathetic ploys of the beleaguered parent:

1: Passing off a grocery trip as a fun excursion. "It's not just any supermarket, kids; this one has a Home Ware section ... "

2: Justifying rotating the PlayStation, iPad and Leap Pad over one day; yes, they're all electronic console type things, but at least each is different -- it's like giving your kids cake because they've already had too many jellies.

3: Telling yourself it's okay to plonk them in front of endless re-runs of Dora the Explorer, because there's a slim chance they may be learning Spanish (the same theory can be applied to Spongebob Squarepants for its informative insights on marine biology).

4: Having parent-and-child baking sessions so you can eat all the cakes yourself -- thus replacing your own boredom with guilt and self-loathing. "What's that? The Rice Krispie buns? Emm, they're ... still in the oven."

5: Convincing yourself that flumping across the couch is actually good for your kids by calling it 'Slouch Yoga'.