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Saturday 18 August 2018

Puppy love puts patsy in her place

In relationships there are always compromises as Pasty was to find out. When Jose made the big decision to come to Ireland to find the love of his life, he didn't come on his own. Instead, he came with his best pal, Indi. It was a sort of two-for-the-price-of-one package that Patsy hadn't bargained for.

Indi didn't arrive from Spain immediately as he had to go through certain immigration procedures before he was allowed into the country.

On arrival, he was whisked into quarantine for a couple of months, just in case he had a number of diseases that might render him a danger to society.

Yes, Indi is a dog, and not just the type of dog that might sit on your lap as you do your knitting by the fire of a winter's eve. No, Indi is a mullacher of a dog -- a great big, hairy, slobbery Siberian Samoyed who looks as if he could swallow a leg of lamb whole.



trauma

He's the type of dog that, if he barks at a small child, they will need therapy for the rest of their life to deal with the post-traumatic stress. In fact, he is just the type of dog that Patsy hates, but there is nothing new in that because Patsy hates all dogs.

"I'm dreading him getting out of quarantine," she cried a couple of weeks ago.

"Perhaps, you should give Jose an ultimatum," I said. "It's either the dog or you."

"And what if he picks the dog?" she bawled.

"Don't be so hard on yourself," said Maggie, with just a hint of sarcasm.

"I'm talking about Indi!" she screeched.

The dog eventually got out of quarantine and set himself up in Patsy's sitting room, where he took up half the floor space. His ears are so big they blocked the telly.

If Patsy went anywhere near him, he growled at her. If she went anywhere near Jose, he snarled in such a threatening manner that bits of saliva drooled from his chops. Despite the quarantine, Patsy was convinced he had rabies.

Eventually, relations thawed, and Indi no longer snarls. In fact, he has taken to following her everywhere, his big soulful eyes not letting her out of his sight.

For her part, she now talks to him like a baby and feeds him from the table when Jose isn't looking. She has even taken control of his exercise, taking him for runs in the evening as she shapes up for the big day.

So enamoured is she that she is now wants Indi to be the ring bearer at the wedding.

The rest of us think it's Patsy who should be quarantined.

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