herald

Friday 17 August 2018

I'm taking no chances on the best-laid plans of mice and men

So would I trust himself to take the male pill?

Not in a billion years.

Yet the news on the street is that men could soon be able to take a version of the contraceptive pill, with no side-effects (mainly no long-term harm to male fertility).

It's been tested on mice -- not very comforting if it's you who faces being a human minivan for nine months!

This 'experiment' has been in the pipeline for years but the most pertinent question most sane people are now asking is do men or women actually want this to happen?

The obvious consideration from a woman's point of view is the simple fact that it's the woman who ends up knocked up should the man forget to adhere to the instructions -- pills, jabs -- it's no "never mind" to me how foolproof this test is on mice, I'd still be the one up the duff. And the mice will not pay for the child's upbringing, so God bless any female who thinks this is a good idea.

But, realistically, what sane man wants this in his life either?

There are lots of polls being carried out about whether or not men can be trusted to take the pill. The answer is of course they can. But I'm pretty sure that both genders are happy with the way things are right now -- as in anything aside from condoms means it's up to the gal.

And that is the way I like it. Even if the male pill does become a reality, it is no different to the female pill as both formats will require trust on both sides -- except the consequences are often much larger for women.

Champagne

Dr Debra Wolgemuth, from Columbia University in New York, which is developing the new invention, said: "We have seen no side-effects so far, and our mice have been mating quite happily." Sorry, but I am not breaking out the Champagne for mice-related happiness!

Experts believe that a male version of the Pill would give couples more choice as well as placing more responsibility on the man rather than the woman.

I am so not going there. Birth control is a woman's job.

At the end of the day nothing is bulletproof -- even Obama's car was derailed by a simple road bump during his visit here.

But I like being in control of my own body -- in as much as one can. None of my gal pals would trick a man by forgetting to take her pill or not using other protection if she is ill with vomiting or diarrhoea.

In any case, they have only carried tests out on mice -- so the question for the female of the species is 'do we want mice or men?'

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