Hold the sex please
Former Big Brother star Chanelle Hayes has admitted she is seeing Jack Tweed but says she's holding back on having sex with him until her baby is born. "I don't think it's right to have sex with someone when you're carrying another man's child," she told Closer magazine.
That nugget begs the question, is there actually someone out there who wants to know if TV presenter Chanelle, who is six-months pregnant with a baby from her relationship with Middlesbrough footballer Matthew Bates, is or isn't having sex with Jade Goody's widower, who was recently found not guilty on the charge of rape?
It also makes you wonder how a vow of pregnancy celibacy -- the girl clearly wants us to think she has standards -- has made her quite understanding of Tweed being photographed out and about with other women.
She says: "He's a 22-year-old lad and, let's face it, he's not getting any sex from me, so it's not that easy for him."
Lest we have misunderstood, she says of Tweed: "We've got together in very strange circumstances. Jack is a really lovely guy, though, and we just get on well. There aren't many guys who would be interested in getting together with a pregnant girl, but he has taken it all in his stride."
But is there something unsettling about 22-year-old Chanelle's gushing about her sex life? Even today, when twentysomethings are uninhibited, open and relaxed about their sex lives, is her candour a bit icky, even if it's not unusual for some girls Chanelle's age to agree to be filmed on mobile phones, and if celebrities by their nature are far more revealing about their sex lives?
Or maybe it's a YouTube generation thing, and one which makes footage of peaceniks letting it all hang out at Woodstock Festival in 1969 in New York look like an anthropological documentary? Is Chanelle -- who also does a Demi Moore-style bare tummy pregnancy pose for Closer magazine -- going a bit too far? She goes on to say she wants to look her best for her labour, a revelation which suggests there may indeed be a video camera in the vicinity of the maternity room. She says: "I'll make sure I've had my hair done, a bikini wax and make-up on at all times. I want to make sure I look good when I'm pushing out a little person."
Some celebrities seem incapable of shutting up about their sex lives. Singer Rihanna (22) admitted in a TV that having a nipple ring made sex better. "I didn't know that until I got it," she told interviewer Alan Carr. "I didn't really do it for sexual reasons, I just did it because it looked kind of cool. I wanted a piercing there, and then -- surprise! -- it's fun."
Because who does know what to expect in this no-holds barred commentary of who's doing what? Another recent culprit is Lost star Matthew Fox, who in a magazine interview admits he lost his virginity at age 12, to a girl two years older than him. He omits no detail in his retelling, and says: "It wasn't her first time. I can actually see the event in my mind's eye, like photographs. It was in Dubois, Wyoming, where the population sign probably says, to this day, about 1,000. It happened literally on the ground by a river while a rodeo was going on in town . . . it was absolutely terrible and awkward -- just two f**king kids lying down and pulling our pants down."
Is anyone else yelling "too much information!?" Fox has blown out the candles on his 40th birthday cake, a fact which might suggest he knows the difference between disclosure, titillation and pretty God-awful unnecessary information.
Is it way past the time for celebrities to hold back on their revelations about their sex lives? Singer-songwriter Ashlee Simpson (25) is, it seems, an exception and well, to use an old-fashioned word, 'private'.
She reportedly was fed up when husband Pete Wentz (30) revealed information about their sex life, saying that what she and her husband do is not for public consumption.
Wentz, the bassist and back-up vocalist for the band Fall Out Boy, revealed his wife's exact words were, "I'm going to pay you back a**hole."
He spoke about their sex life on controversial DJ Howard Stern's radio show, recalling his first sexual encounter with Simpson, claiming, "It was the single best sexual encounter I've ever had."
He went on, "We were in the Soho Grand Hotel, and there was a mirror, and I was like, 'Oh my God, you're banging the girl of your dreams and you're watching it right now'."
He also admitted Simpson gives a "mean lap dance" and enjoys wearing thongs.
Could we elect Ashlee Simpson to the ''intimacy information police' to teach her generation about what they should and should not be revealing?
She would have her work cut out. Another sinner is singer-songwriter John Mayer, who has admitted he was once sexually addicted to the singer and actress -- and her sister -- Jessica Simpson. Mayer, who is best known for dating Jennifer Aniston, said of Simpson, "That girl, for me, is a drug. And drugs aren't good for you if you do lots of them. Yeah, that girl is like crack cocaine to me."
Though Simpson and Mayer's on-off romance has ended, the memories of their relationship haven't left Mayer. "Sexually it was crazy," he recalled. "That's all I'll say. It was like napalm, sexual napalm."
Does he have to share this with us? Isn't anything private any more? Is nothing sacred? Is it possible to avoid hearing about the sex lives of celebrities? Or must we be grateful he hasn't released a sex tape?