Sunday 18 August 2019

Dear Rosanna: Am I too young to have sex?

On a potential office romance, the right time to lose your virginity, and the best lines to pick up the girl of your dreams

Q I have a problem in work at the moment. I really like a guy who has just started. I don't know how to play it as he looks at me and smiles but is he being friendly or does he like me? What will I do?

A Nothing beats that first flurry of nervous excitement when you think that your object of desire may just fancy you back. I recommend that you trust your instincts with this one. As you tell me he's been smiling over at you and appears to be interested, it's likely that he's just a little bit too shy to make the first move and approach you. You need to focus on sending out some signals of your own now.

Don't underestimate the power of body language! Try holding his gaze that little bit longer, turn your body towards him so that you're always in each other's line of sight. When you feel confident enough, I would suggest you approach him and strike up a conversation but keep it laid-back and friendly. Ask how he's getting on with his work and how he's finding things in the office. Just keep on monitoring his body signals and levels of interest and I have no doubt that you'll be swapping numbers and arranging a casual cinema date before too long! Good luck, and remember that he is most likely just suffering from shyness.

Q WHAT is a good age to lose your virginity? We are a group of teenage girls who are coming under increasing pressure from our boyfriends to have sex - and from each other as well as to who will be the first one to spend the night with a guy. We all feel excited and terrified at the same time.

A It's very difficult for me to advise you on the right age to lose your virginity, as everybody is physically and emotionally different. It's an individual choice and should be made by you when you feel the time is right. Underage sex is illegal, so wait until you're past the age of consent (17), no matter what. As a rule, I think it's advisable to wait as long as possible and give it plenty of thought to make sure you're completely ready. The most important thing is that you should never let yourself be forced to do it by a boyfriend or a guy you're seeing; it should always be your decision. A man who forces you to sleep with him has no respect for you. I highly recommend that you avoid being under the influence of alcohol when you do decide to lose your virginity. It should not be a competition or a race; it's a part of your childhood and your innocence which you'll never get back. Please think it through carefully, and always use contraception.

Q I need good chat-up lines pronto. You'd understand if you met me -- I'm a geeky looking 21-year-old male with very little money because of being a student, who hasn't a car, and who lives with his mum and does her weekly shoping and ironing as well as walking her Yorkshire terrier. Please don't tell me it is what is underneath that matters, I really want to know the chat-up lines that work on you and your friends.

A First of all, forget the cheesy chat-up lines. They simply don't work! From how you have described yourself, you sound like a really sweet guy. You look after your mum and her dog well, and for most girls, a guy that is sensitive and caring is incredibly attractive. In my opinion, you just need to build up your self-confidence by concentrating on the most positive and endearing aspects of your personality and letting them shine through. Don't worry that you're a penniless student without a car, as the right girl for you shouldn't care about material possessions. It's great that you're in college and you're working towards gaining your third-level qualification and it will most definitely stand to you.

The best advice that I can give you is to just be yourself and try to build up your confidence around women. When striking up a conversation first, find a common topic of interest and then just let it flow from there.

A guy who is relaxed and confident in himself without being cocky or trying too hard is most attractive to girls. If you're conscious about your 'geeky' physical appearance, then perhaps make an effort to build on that. Update your wardrobe if you can and perhaps start working out if you feel it will boost your self-esteem.

Once you stop worrying about it and relax, I guarantee it will happen for you.

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