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Everything but the kitchen sink is in our handbags

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woman's handbag

woman's handbag

woman's handbag

There were only three of us heading into the coffee shop as Josie was off training for her trek to base camp Everest.

Yes, you read that right. Base camp Everest.

It has been on her bucket list for the last 20 years and having saved like a demon for the last 10, she and her husband are flying to Kathmandu next Friday for a two-week trip.

She had wanted us to join her but with freezing temperatures and not a shopping mall in sight it would be akin to hell on earth for Maggie. As for me, well I'm of the jaded opinion that if you've seen one mountain, you've seen them all, while Patsy gets altitude sickness just driving up to Dublin.

"I don't know how she is going to carry all that gear. I mean, no washing facilities for two whole weeks. That's half a stone in 14 pairs of knickers alone!" she said, as she threw her handbag onto the table. The irony that the bag was the size of a kid goat seemed to be lost on her.

A recent survey of women's handbags in the UK showed 90pc of women carry handbags that, on average, weigh 5.4lbs which is equivalent to carting a Jack Russell around under your arm.

And 73pc of the women admitted to carrying 10 or more pieces of junk that they did not need, while more than half carry a spare pair of shoes. A further 23pc tote an extra pair of knickers in their bags.

"I do that in case I lose the ones I'm wearing," Patsy said.

No chance, her drawers are so tight a category five hurricane couldn't blow them off.

LANDFILL

"But I need everything in there!" she cried.

We had nothing better to do so we made her turn it out. It wasn't long before the table looked like a landfill. Here is a list of just some of things she had.

A pair of pink flip flops; the aforementioned knickers in size 14 (in her dreams); four lipsticks all the same colour - two of which had no tops; a half packet of chocolate digestives; an English/Spanish translation book; a Neil Diamond CD; receipts for everything she bought in SuperValu for the last 12 months; two Christmas cards she hadn't posted from last year; two old mobiles with no batteries; a camera; eight pens all belonging to the bank; two coin bags containing €2 in one cent pieces; shells she'd picked off a beach in Murcia; and last, but not least, an empty bottle of hand sanitiser.

"I rest my case," I said. "I rest my case," she mimicked back to me in a whiny voice.

Base camp is looking more attractive by the day…


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