herald

Thursday 16 August 2018

Every cloud has a silver lining as hot weather women rain supreme

DUBLIN youth radio station Spin FM uses just a handful of words to give the weather forecast. It goes something along the lines of 'oh s*** it's raining' or 'slap on the sunscreen, man''.

I suppose it appeals to teens with a titchy attention span. Or perhaps they're working off the back of research from the UK on what listeners want.

A cold front exists there between the BBC and its audience after complaints that the daily forecasts were time wasting and irritated rather than informed.



duvet

Criticism of weather presenters included their 'poetic' language, 'chatty' style, assumptions about the audience's leisure time and advice on what to do with it. The habit of linking the weather to having a 'picnic or barbie', sporting events such as Wimbledon or telling people when to turn on their heating were singled out. The 'projection of personality' was also a gripe.

They clearly don't have a Martin King or Jean Byrne in the UK -- our king and queen in the land of meteorology. What's not to love when Martin says 'it's a kick off the duvet' night, or that, if I'm heading to Croke Park, to bring a towel to wipe the rain off the seat.



dominatrix

I want to know the odds of a white Christmas and when to stock up on burger buns if the sun's out. Quite simply, had he not flagged up the run on buns, I'd be bunless. And thank you, Martin for your congeniality while delivering the bad news that it's a weekend for the ducks.

If you haven't had a birthday request on the weather, you must be a twinkle in God's eye.

And then there's Jean. The weather. The woman. The dresses. She's just scooped a European award for her broadcasting style. Which one? I'll have to flip through my collection.

There's a Facebook page called the Jean Byrne Appreciation Society with almost 1,150 fans. There's even a 'Jean Byrne's Dominatrix Style Outfit On The Weather On Good Friday' group.

It was a leather dress, by the way, with a fur collar. On Good Friday. Sure, we had to get the house blessed after that weather forecast.

That's why we love her. Her brave fashion choices make her a national treasure. It's Christmas Day; I'll slip on a silvery, tinfoil number. It's midweek, I'll wear a 'spiderweb' dress comprised of little holes all over. This little number sent Jean trending on Twitter.

If her personality was the weather, she'd be a hot summer day, creating a warm front and high pressure.

Meteorology is a complex business. It's easier to understand after a depressing news bulletin if the person delivering it has some sort of a pulse. If they get off on ribbons of stratocumulus clouds and Hurricane Katia's battering power.

If you feel like they would much rather say something like 'here in Nowheresville, the rain will be the most exciting thing to happen all week'.

Stay classy, Martin and Jean. And thanks for making catching the weather a hell of a lot better than the weather itself.

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