First we had Yuppies, and then we had Dinkys followed by Yummies and Drummies.
Now we have Scuppies -- socially conscious upwardly-mobile persons -- who like to indulge in ethical living.
In other words, well-heeled women (and men) who can afford to buy unadulterated humous and stringy carrots with the organic muck still attached, at their farmers' market. And the Scuppies will only congregate in coffee shops that sell Fair Trade coffee, where they can nibble expensive handmade oatmeal cookies that are additive-free and haven't been hand-rolled by a six-year-old in India.
With their hemp handbags slung over their organic linen suits, they will natter loudly to one another about the lengths they are going to save the Earth -- using organic Nama Shoyu (unpasteurised soy sauce) and organic hearts of palm when cooking veggie noodles, and only using the organic pear and apple body wrap at their local spa.
Somehow, I don't think you'll find a Scuppie wearing a hair shirt and eating lentils out of a bean can whilst tied to a tree for weeks on end in the Glen of the Downs. That save-the-earth stuff can be left to the real eco-warriors who don't mind getting dirty for their principles.
I met a Scuppie last week outside the school gates. I commented on her hair which had just been cut and coloured. "Peroxide-free," she informed me. "There is no cruelty to animals involved and its 100pc pure botanical hair colour."
"How much?" I enquired.
"A snip at €180," she replied. I paled visibly.
"It's a small price to pay to help save the planet," she lectured at me from behind her iWood eco-design organic Macassar Ebony sunglasses (another snip at $370 from Saks Fifth Avenue).
I thought about my own hair colour, a sort of russet, mahogany combination that I buy in a box for €10, and immediately felt guilty about all the red squirrels it had probably been tested on.
Then I thought, what the hell, shrugged my shoulders, pushed my fake Gucci glasses back up my nose and drove down to Aldi to buy a load of cheap organic fruit to make smoothies for the kids.
There is a name for gals like me -- WAGONS -- Women Against Green Overpriced Nonsense.