herald

Monday 20 August 2018

Carrot and stick: why redheads do it better

THERE'S racism. Sexism. Ageism. And dozens of other isms. But it now appears there's gingerism.

At least outside of Ireland where demand for sperm from red headed men is down. The world's largest sperm bank -- Cyros International -- has begun to reject donations from red heads, saying there simply isn't a clamour for carrot tops.

Of course these other countries don't have The Gooch. Or Paul O'Connell. Or David McWilliams. We know these redheads are hot headed, fierce fighters with an above average tolerance for pain. Try playing a blonde at lock against the Wallabies or someone with brown hair at right corner forward against the Dubs.

In this country the only enemy redheads have is the sun. Outside of Ireland, redheads are considered to be inferior to their more melanin-rich brethren and thus discriminated against. The rarity of their colour appears to inspire odd and sometimes fearful reactions. Maybe the discrimination against redheads started in Britain as the fiery hair indicates Celtic rather than Anglo Saxon ethnicity?

The Romans were said to have put red haired males into training as soldiers because they were believed to be fierce warriors. Maybe that's why Rome gave up on taking Ireland; they saw Paul O'Connell's ancestors and decided there would only be one loser.

Try getting a dark headed economist explain what a subordinate bond is. They don't call him McDreamy because we fantastise about double dips and third quarters.

Red stands for passion too. A German study found the sex lives of women with red hair were more active than those with other hair colour. There's even a Redheads Do It Better Facebook page. Do what better?

Enough with this ginger bashing. Ginger Mingers they aren't. You'll find The Gooch is never short of someone to run their hands through those lovely red locks. Nor Paulie nor McDreamy.

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