| 9.6°C Dublin

Oh Brother, all the pain wannabes go through for their 15 minutes of fame

It's in its last ever season, but the wannabes are still keen for their moments of fame on Big Brother.

And fame costs -- as I found, along with hundreds of budding reality stars at the RDS.

There's no messing around in the auditions -- I was thrown into a team of eight to work on my teamwork skills.

The crew member explained that Big Brother is "all about teamwork" and we would be going through a series of tasks before we met with producers.

Firstly, we had to pass a soccer ball to another team member without using our hands, but after three rounds of losing, my team was subject to a forfeit task chosen by the winners, which was designed to be as humiliating as can be. My seven teammates and I had the pleasure of dirty dancing with each other while making farm animal noises.

As the first task ended, it became clear how producers weed out the shy from the uninhibited very early on. And I realised that no task was off limits for the fame hungry, and that none of my cohorts fully understood the concept of embarrassment. But, sadly, I was one of them now.

The fundamental concept of Big Brother is the idea that you are always being watched, and this begins the second you enter the venue to audition. When you are grinding with a complete stranger while oinking and mooing, there is always a producer nearby observing how you cope with the situation.

Next, we were ushered into another area where we met with production staff.

We were asked to rate each other based on who was the most interesting out of the group, down to who was the least. I was placed fifth -- smack in the middle of mediocrity.

After about 15 minutes of these types of tasks, a crew member informed us that they would be making cuts and only three of us continued on to the next round.

We were asked to put out our hand and were then stamped with the Big Brother emblem.

Although there were looks of disappointment from those who didn't get through, particularly from one woman who auditioned for the fourth time, I found myself over excited for managing to get the elusive stamp on my hand.

Big Brother found me an acceptable candidate after meeting with me for just a few minutes -- I was both proud and worried for my mental health.

Now came the hard part, when I was required to fill out a questionnaire asking me everything from the most interesting things about myself to the most shameful moment of my life, after rating myself on a scale from one to 10 on how beautiful, intelligent and ruthless I consider myself to be.

This is where I had to draw the line. Although reality TV shows happen to be one of my secret vices, I prefer to observe. So, I will be sticking to my life behind the scenes ... and definitely tuning into Big Brother this summer in the hope of seeing a few familiar faces.

cmcbride@herald.ie