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Barlow tries hard to fill Simon Cowell's shoes

Despite keeping his shirt firmly buttoned up, Gary really wants to be seen as the 'new Simon Cowell'. After all, he's the only judge who offers something resembling critical analysis - even if it provokes a boo or glares from his fellow judges and the audience. Bless.

Why did the normally nice Kelly Rowland (below) keep shouting "Put It Down! Yeah!" when she liked an act? Threatening to lob her pen at that nice Craig lad from Liverpool would have been a step too far. Kelly, calm down.

Nu Vibe (appalling name) may not be the best singers, but we want to see how long they can last without one of the self-confessed 'bad lads' throwing a dig at each other.

The producers at least made the right call in eliminating four acts at the offset -- 16 was just way too many. World wars have been shorter than Saturday evening's episode.

So shy that she makes former X Factor contestant Eoghan Quigg look like Ray Winstone, Janet Devlin will be thereabouts when the business end of the competition takes place. Her song choice was inspired and the kid seems genuinely bemused by all the praise from the judges. Stick a fiver on her to win it.6Misha B is terrifying. What's going on with her hair? Her make-up? And how many trees had to be uprooted so she could wear that newspaper-inspired dress on Saturday?

Tulisa: We like you, and you're a bit more 'street' than Cheryl ever was. But what's with the weird hand thing at the start of the show? And please stop telling everyone -- and I mean, everyone -- that they have "great energy". Some of them are barely awake.

While we're talking about Tulisa, she's either a wonderful actress or was genuinely upset at the fact that she had to ditch 2 Shoes. Don't worry, from next week the public do the dirty work.

Poor Amelia Lily. It seems a bit cruel to have built up a 16-year-old's hopes and then crush them after a week -- without even a public vote.

Kitty Bruck-nell (above), who makes last year's Katie Waissel seem demure in comparison, will be gone next week.