Thursday 20 September 2018

The 40 signs that you're getting old in Dublin

Avicii, inset, you find yourself running to work, and left, Howth Harbour
Avicii, inset, you find yourself running to work, and left, Howth Harbour
Remember these? A City Imp bus

You’ve spotted the signs. They’re unavoidable, you know. It happens to the best of us, and the sooner you admit it, the sooner you can start to work out how to deal with it. That’s right, you’re getting old.

 You may even still be in your mid-twenties, but hey, the younger are getting older all the time. Yes, we know it’s tragic, but maybe, in sharing the following warnings, we can help you figure out a way to stall the ball. That is, if you want to (getting older is all kinds of fun, really). Whatever the case, don’t panic. Unless you’re familiar with everything in the following list. In which case, best of luck. There’s no turning back now…


1. You’ve started to drink in your dad’s favourite pub. Or, your grandfather’s local. The point is, you now prefer the old-man watering hole, and you didn’t even notice it happening.

2. You just walked out of a clothes shop because the music was too loud. You’ve also started to complain about the noise levels in bars. It’s a slippery slope, that one.

3. A Sunday afternoon stroll in Howth is way better than a Saturday night adventure in town.


4. A Sunday afternoon stroll in Howth is probably necessary, especially after a Saturday night adventure in town.

5. You’ve started to pack your running gear in your work bag.


Just run to work - cut out the middle man

6. You just bought a lunch box for work. To go next to your running gear.

7. Your entire weekend revolves around where you’re eating brunch. You’ve probably started and / or subscribed to a food blog, too. And given baking a try.

8. Bouncers have stopped asking you for ID.

9. But the Pav in Trinity College just turned you away. Hate that.

10. Your ‘sir’ or ‘ma’am’ count passed three before lunch time.

11. They no longer ask you if you have a student card at Topman.

12. You can’t do festivals anymore.

13. You’ve started to have ‘back problems’.

14. Probably from doing festivals for too long.

Hozier performing at Electric Picnic in August.

Hozier performing at Electric Picnic in August.

15. The Mattress Mick billboard actually worked, and you weren’t nearly as excited about meeting him as you should have been.

16. You “need your eight hours”. You keep telling everyone, too. That’s why you went to Mattress Mick.

17. You’ve started to use the word “bargain” in every conversation.

18. People step aside to let you pass on the street.

19. People have started opening doors for you.

20. People are SO annoying, it’s not even funny.

21. Netflix is your bae. Also, soaps. When did that happen?

22. You just Googled ‘bae’.

23. You actually remember a time when we used to have single decker buses.

Remember these? A City Imp bus

Remember these? A City Imp bus

24. The hangovers are…well, let’s just say that you can’t even deal with them anymore. The bloody fear lasts for days, too.

25. You wrote a to-do list for the weekend. The weekend, like. And Homebase is on it.

26. You can never remember when the bins go out, or which colour we’re on. It stresses the hell out of you. And, you’ve only gone and caught yourself peeking out the window to see what the neighbours are doing.

27. Everyone’s getting married. Everyone, like.

28. You ‘get changed’ when you come home. Because you now own ‘home clothes’.


The staple of the home clothes - the slippers

29. You make a plan to avoid your smartphone before and after bed, because all bright things now hurt your eyes. Everything else is starting to hurt, too. And did we just hear you grunt when you stood up?

30. You remember when Ray D’Arcy used to fight a giant panda bear / cuddly toy yoke named Ted and have started to complain about current children’s programming on the box. Because none of it makes sense anymore.

31. You miss Frawley’s.

32. Kids call you ‘mister’ or ‘missus’.

33. You’re a dude and you’ve started to tuck your shirt into your trousers.

34. You just caught yourself booking theatre tickets.

35. A huge gig was just announced at Marlay Park, and you’ve had to ask five different people what an ‘Avicii’ is.



36. You’re having friends over for dinner on the 23rd. Friends used to come over all the time, any time. For prinks.

37. You just Googled ‘Prinks’.

38. You “need a nap.” Every afternoon, like.

39. You can remember places by their old names. Not only that, but you refuse to call them anything else. The 3Arena is the Point, that pub in Temple Bar is Eamonn Doran’s, etc., etc. Because you like things to stay the same.

40. You “left the washing out”. It’s started to rain, you’re sitting in a bar and you’ve just informed your friends that you “left the washing out”. Hand in your student card, please. Whoops, sorry, you no longer have one. Hate that.

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