herald

Monday 11 December 2017

star query

Q My boyfriend of one year has so far been faithful to me -- and I to him. But he has always been honest about the fact that he does not believe in long-term fidelity. He says he loves me madly but I know he is now keen to take another lover. I don't think I can cope with the jealousy and insecurity that this would cause for me but equally I can't imagine leaving him.

A My gut reaction is that you are going to have to choose one or the other. But hang on a minute, how do you know he's ready to take another lover? He clearly hasn't said it to you. This may be just some male-type defence mechanism he puts out. And, on your part, it may be natural insecurity getting in the way. Take your time and be absolutely sure before you make any move.

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