Paddy Courtney: Time
This weekend the clocks go forwards, or is it backwards?
I think it's forwards. Seriously though, what a head wreck, I've got other stuff to be thinking about, like girls, bills, Man Utd, more bills, more girls and the Lotto. Messing around with time did no favours for Marty and the Doc in those Back to the Future films now did it?
Once upon a time some bored person in history decided to put the clocks back an hour and a few months later, put them forward again, just for the laugh.
What we actually need to do is put the clocks back to the very day this gobshite came up with the plan and slap the idea out of their head. Then, put the clocks forward to today, before they realise what just happened and we'll all live happily ever after.
Many countries around the world play with their clocks in a bid to save daylight hours, but there are exceptions.
Iceland got in a huff and refused to do what they were told, and we all know what happened to them. They were plagued with volcanos, then they produced Björk and finally, they went bankrupt. Hmmm, coincidence?
I've heard Fine Gael want to ask the EU to extend the current daylight saving thingamajig. They believe that extending the schedule by four weeks would lower energy costs and save lives on roads. Do they really? Or have they a cunning plan?
If they can ask the EU for stuff, then so can I. Here goes:
Dear EU, next Saturday at 7pm, can you put the clocks forward an hour, just for five minutes so I can get the Lotto numbers and then you can put them back again.