I USED to think that Lindsay Lohan was nicknamed LiLo as an abbreviation of her name, but on looking at her puffed up face, I'm now thinking it's a comment on her cosmetically enhanced looks.
This troubled 25-year-old piece of Hollywood debris has even more to worry about than her stalled career and ruined reputation. Because when she comes around to take a long, hard look in the mirror, she's going to find a young woman who looks nothing like what nature intended.
She appears to have so much filler, and plumper, that her case of 'pillow face' makes Madonna look positively gaunt.
When I saw the photos of Lindsay at Kim Kardashian's wedding, I actually felt sorry for the girl. She's done so much to her appearance, she's now beginning to look like a freak, at a very tender young age.
To me, it's not an enhancement of beauty, but a cry for help. Only someone so deeply insecure would want to alter their twentysomething face in the way a middle-aged woman might.
Lindsay has grown up way too fast, for way too long. And while she might have been indulging in adult-style excesses while barely in her teens, this shouldn't mean that she's turning to such radical cosmetic procedures when barely in her twenties.
I've seen photos of her with those tell-tale, giant bee-stung lips for a few years, but now her cheeks look puffed out like a chipmunk, and the over-processed platinum locks are nothing like the natural redhead that bounced on to our screens back in the days of The Parent Trap.
But as her career bombed, so her insecurity with her appearance seems to have grown.
These days, in addition to the fillers and lip plumpers, there's also Botox to freeze her face, and no doubt deep facial peels to erase as many of her natural, pretty freckles as possible. And I'd hazard a guess that her augmentations don't stop at her neck, she's probably put her body through endless, no doubt unnecessary, procedures.
It's easy to say I blame her feuding parents, but in LiLo's case, it's most likely true. Her starstruck mum and dad have already been credited as being responsible for her deep plunge into Hollywood's underworld. And they seem more entranced by the celebrity world than shocked by its effect on their little girl. Lindsay's mum Dina still hangs around with her in a creepy "people think we're sisters" kind of way, and doesn't seem to want or need to vet or veto the undesirables they constantly come into contact with.
But back to young women's obsession to unnecessarily 'fix' their faces. It's not just a Stateside phenomenon. Head in to Krystle any weekend and you'll be hard pressed to get an expression out of the SoCoDu set.
In a bid to be 'grown up', they've followed their mothers and celebrity idols (usually naff reality TV stars) and opted for 'a nice brow arch' (Botox), and claim their overly-inflated lips are down to clever glossing. Well, in my opinion, the only thing they're glossing is the truth.
I don't know what the legal ramifications are, to allow medics to unnecessarily inject young people, but actually it's more of a moral thing. Like waxing under 18-year-olds (it happens all the time, and not just legs). Any true professional would draw the line.
Lindsay, take some sound advice -- less of the LiLo, love.